Unforgettable

hello 2012, goodbye 2011.

2012-01-01T15:04:00.002+08:00

How time flies. It's 2012 already.

2011 has been an eventful year. Relief teaching at BP was an awesome experience, to say the least. School started, made new friends, and of course enjoyed the process of learning. Then there was an OCSP that I enjoyed too.

Of course, there were downs to the year. But it was through these downs that I realised who my true friends really were. I also realised that sometimes, holding on to something too much wouldn't help. And so, I learnt to let go... and in the process became a happier person.

2011 was important because I gained perspectives on my life that I never once had. I had a clearer picture of what I truly wanted in life, and also accepted the fact that there are many things in life which are beyond our control.

Although 2011 did not end off at a high note, it was still a good year. Hopefully 2012 would be a better year.

New year resolution? I will keep it simple. Let things take its course, work hard, allow time to do what I want to do, spend time with my loved ones, and stay happy.

Okay, maybe it isn't as simple as it sounds. But I will try.

Happy 2012 everyone!

yes, i am twenty-one.

2011-11-23T23:46:00.002+08:00

I realised I haven't written for a long time.

There's so much that I want to tell someone, but I don't know who to tell. I guess it's really difficult to find someone who can truly understand how you think. Maybe even impossible.

It hasn't been a wonderful semester, to be honest. Never been so unproductive in my life. Well others were rushing projects, I find myself sleeping. Not that I don't have to do my work and projects, I somehow managed to complete them. To an acceptable standard at least.

In fact, I should be reading the biz law notes I prepared, but it's just too darn boring. Now I see why we should study the subjects that we are interested in. O Level Bio was much more fun than this.

If you ask me, this semester has made me think about a lot of things. What does my true interest lie, what kind of job should I get in the future, who are my real friends...and how much more should I care about things and people around me.

It's complicated. I care about my friends, but I don't want the friendship to be based on merely me helping them and them trying to return me the favour. I don't need people to return me favours. At least for now. I need people to understand where I am coming from, how I feel, and how I think. People may say - what about my students? Don't they say 'thank you' too?

Somehow there's just this big difference between them, and most of my friends I have now. This difference I find it hard to explain. It's ironic I know, but a group of teenagers seem to know better what being a friend entails. They ask me out. They care for me, as much as I care for them, both academically and psychologically (if that is the correct word to use). Yes, I started off helping them, but I am a teacher for crying out loud. And who says a teacher cannot be your friend?

There's so much I want to say about the rigidity of the current education system, the formality...its all about balance.

So, back to the topic. What does being a friend really mean? That, I can't explain well. Never been good in words. But at the very least, less helping each other in time of need, it means spending time together, or to say the least making time for each other even though you're damn busy, having fun.

Sometimes I wonder why so many of my friendships didn't work out. perhaps I'm weird. low EQ. But it actually is very simple.

It's the simplest things that are most difficult to find. That, I can't agree more.

I've got a bidding group in school. No offence, just saying what I feel. One wished me good results for my birthday. I appreciate that, and I won't deny that results are important, but that's not what I'm really looking out in life. Perhaps they don't know me well enough. Fair. But after helping them, and seeing how they respond to it...sometimes I wonder why I am trying so hard. SMU is a lonely school, that I admit, but why can't they make it less lonely for themselves, as well as for me? Is it only all about work?

There's one who's very excited about working together, because we can trust each other to do work. See it's about work again. Working together is not just about producing work, about spoiling the market - it's the process. It's about having fun. I appreciate their effort, I do. But that shouldn't be all to life.

I miss the times I work with my friends in secondary school, and the times I work with my students as I'm teaching. Maybe, maybe I'm asking too much. But is that, by itself, a mistake I shouldn't make?

Looking at how the financial sector is right now, i don't see how I will enjoy working in it. Maybe I should just be a teacher, or take the alternative approach, and do what I really want. Let my life be an adventure. There're so many things I want to do - travel, set up a hostel, teach in a foreign country, help there. The list just goes on. It's just where to start. I hope I know when the time comes.

Okay enough of ranting. Time to go to bed...and spend another day studying.

how I really feel.

2011-10-23T10:37:00.002+08:00

pi don't usually blog from my phone, but the urge to get all my feelings out is too strong.

i'm turning 21 this year, and so are many of my friends. i envy those who have friends planning surprises or parties for them, or even have quality time over something simple like shopping and dinner. i mean, facebook shows them all.

and i wonder why for the past 20 years of my life, the only time one entire group of people sang a birthday song for me was when i was secondary 3, and the rest of the time i had to be the one asking people to spend the day with me.

am i really that unapproachable, or unfriendly?

perhaps it's the way i carry myself. or the decisions i make. or the problems i face.

say when i was teaching. i decided to spend more time with my students than my colleagues. that's why i'm not as close to them. i don't regret it, but there's still this tinge of envy, perhaps even jealousy, tt i won't receive a similar birthday dinner from them. they probably wouldn't know that my birthday is coming. and before anyone tells me not to be stupid, it's only human nature.

which makes me wonder why i've been trying every year since sec 2 to get the same friends to spend it with me. it seems to me that every year, it's out of obligation than willingness that they agree to it. obligation because i hardly reject them when they do ask for help. but probably nothing more than that.

like i've said it may be beacuse of my problems that they shun me quite a bit. thinking about all the facebook pictures that talk about the idea of a true friend, i really wonder.

perhaps we have different definitions of a friend. i never asked, because they could never understand where i am coming from. but i always gave them the benefit of the doubt. but just this year, i don't want to be the one asking them out. i want someone to ask me out. that's my birthday wish.

childish, i know. but i would be lying if i said that isn't important to me. it is.

i can only hope that my 21st birthday will be a good one.

and in case anyone really does read this, i still see them as good friends. i just hoped that we could spend more time together, rather than always hanging the word 'busy' by the side of our mouths. we all have 24 hours a day; you decide how you want to spend it best.

a long hiatus.

2011-10-10T01:45:00.002+08:00

i haven't written since school started.

a long, yet seemingly short, 8 weeks have passed.

school's okay, manageable so far.

school has allowed me to strengthen my views on certain issues, and made me discover better what kind of a person i am.

which is why i am struggling. the kind of person i am, and the kind of things i seek for in life, don't really seem to coincide.

or rather they do, but just can't happen together.

it's complicated. and i wish things were simpler.

End of a chapter.

2011-08-14T01:10:00.002+08:00

A quick entry before I turn in.

Well, Friday was a long and meaningful day. It was my last day of work in BPGHS, and also the day of my Convocation. I was sad that I had to leave the place I spent a wonderful 4 years and 8 months in, yet excited that a brand new chapter of life is waiting to unfold. I was overwhelmed by emotions, and did not know what to feel.

I guess no one could understand this weird mix of feelings; neither could I.

I'm not sure if I chose to escape the sadness that was supposed to engulf me by embracing what is in front of me. Some may not term it as escapism, but instead call it forward-looking. The fact remains that my classes, especially the 2 classes that I stuck to the very end, are important to me. And they do mean a lot to me. And no one could understand this dedication and commitment towards them.

In this, and in many other matters, I am alone.

It's difficult to get others to understand what you are doing, and the reasons behind your actions. At least for me it isn't easy at all. And this is where belief is more important than anything else.

The Guest of Honour's speech was inspiring. He talked about his Bamboo School, and made me feel that whatever I have done in the past 8 months was insignificant, to say the least.

Schools do not just serve students. They serve the community.

His approach is daring, in fact radical. I wish I have done more - if only I heard him earlier.

There are too many what ifs. Even though I have left BPGHS, I hope I still have the opportunity to impact my students, and allow both my life, and their lives, to become as fulfilling as they can get.

Cheers.

it took me long enough.

2011-07-14T23:41:00.002+08:00

Today was the first time I actually supported my school team in a tournament.

And I really wondered, what took me so long.

I was never from a sports cca, I belong to the performing arts. The nature of both CCAs is very different, yet they have many similar areas too.

We train to excel. And up on stage, whether is it against the opposing team, or in front of the judges, it is inevitable that we get nervous, or even frustrated. And it is at this point when it is extremely important to keep our calm, and still perform our best.

I saw the aggressiveness in my students today. The never-say-die attitude in them really sparked the dying fire within me. Isn't this all about youth and its rigour, and what sportsmanship is about?

Who says education is just about results? Yes - I'm referring to the recent letter by a Secondary 4 student to the Minister of Education. It is through such CCAs and competitions that students learn - how to juggle their emotions, and be resillient. And all these - can't be found in the textbook.

Our education system may not be perfect, but it definitely isn't the worst.

The boys won, but the girls didn't. But I'm equally proud of them.

I'm really glad to have been a relief teacher this half a year. I have experienced the intangible frills of being a teacher, and it's not something that you can experience from other professions. I hope I have touched lifes, as much as how my students have touched mine.

Maybe I should stop using the word 'students', and address them as my friends instead.

academic writing exemption test.

2011-07-07T19:46:00.002+08:00

so this morning was the academic writing exemption test that i had to take. it's been some time since i really sat down for 2 hours to complete a piece of writing. until now i'm still unsure of the question requirements, but I must say I'm glad that my brain was still functioning, despite 2 years of...malfunctioning? haha.

I guess being a relief teacher did help a bit. At least my engine was moving, despite at a slower pace.

Okays. Thinking of a trip before university starts. Crazy crazy.

Till then.

An attempt to write.

2011-07-04T20:11:00.003+08:00

Well, my plan to write everyday prior to my academic writing test has failed miserably. I won't use busy as an excuse; I knew half of me was and still am procrastinating. If not now, then when?

It's not that I don't want to take Academic Writing. I think it will be a interesting module to take. But when the aim of university is to clear you modules as fast as you can, you probably won't want to spend time doing such things. And herein lies the irony - isn't education about doing what you like and enjoy?

Anyway, an article that I chanced upon a few days back:

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/1138635/1/.html#.ThBJOCUsZX4.facebook

The title goes: Teachers not expected to "do everything", says Education Minister.

"The Education Ministry had also called for a tender last week to train Normal (Technical) and Normal (Academic) teachers to understand common mental disorders among youths like self-harm and eating disorders.

In response, sociologist Paulin Straughan had written in to the TODAY newspaper cautioning against placing too many responsibilities on teachers, who already clock long hours. They should not be required to do more than referring at-risk students to trained counsellors, she said."

Having been a relief teacher for half a year, I must say that referring at-risk students to trained counsellors isn't as straightforward as it seems.

Let's say you discover that a student has this particular disorder. Without finding out more, you refer the student to the school counsellor. Simple.

Not so. Yes, the counsellor is trained to make the student speak up and face his/her problems. But in reality, how many students actually are willing to speak in front of counsellors? Out of fear of being teased by their peers, most students cringe at the notion of being sent to the school counsellor, because that would mean that they have a problem - and a psychological or mental problem for that matter. The kind of damage and hurt that is inflicted onto the student is more that what you can imagine.

This explains why I'm very reluctant to send my students to the school counsellor straightaway. Even if it was left as a last resort, I think the teacher plays a very crucial role in introducing the counsellor to the student. Some form of damage control, if you would like to put it that way. After all, the student usually feels more comfortable with the teacher than the counsellor. If the teacher is able to convince the student enough, in as mild a way as possible, that he has a problem that he needs to solve, then half the battle is won already.

So, in a nutshell, sending the student straight to the counsellor is an easy, but necessary the best way out. There are too many side-effects in this easy method.

And people will then complain that this is yet another increase in the teachers' workload.

I know teaching doesn't just involve preparing teaching materials and teaching in class. There's CCA involvements, school events, projects, and the list goes on. So why should the teacher be concerned about such matters, which could be conveniently passed on to the counsellor?

Well, teaching, or education, is out of love for the students. It involves more than just finishing the syllabus on time. At least for me, it is. I constantly look for the best way to ensure my students' needs are met. Teachers are educators. It is the responsibility of teachers, therefore, to see that students try to solve their problems, with external help whenever necessary, and not simply push it away and say - it's their problem, not mine.

I must admit I recognize that a teacher's load is getting increasingly heavy. And that's why I think it's time the ministry did something to review a teacher's workload - to consider what needs to be added and what needs to be removed or outsourced, all in the aim of maximising the student's welfare and learning abilities.

And it doesn't take any random person who becomes minister to do this. It takes a group of dedicated, experienced educators who were once teachers, to spend time and look at how things have changed over time to do it. Only then can both students and teachers benefit from the change that has taken too long to happen.

start writing or my ink won't flow.

2011-06-21T23:45:00.002+08:00

well, i've got an academic writing exemption test coming up in less than 2 weeks time, so I thought I will make myself write something everyday, before I find myself getting stuck while doing the test. Like what my HOD of english used to say, if you don't write, your ink won't flow.

I just finished marking the 2 sets of papers that I'm supposed to mark, so I'm just left with collating the marker's comments. Pretty efficient I must say. I guess it's because it's something that I have motivation to work on, the next task at hand...is a different story.

Ok, to make myself feel better, I shall talk about my Hokkaido trip. It's an awesome place, and I think everyone who makes a trip to Japan should spend some time there. The scenery there is beautiful, think it will be even better when all the flowers blossom in july, or when everything is tinted white by the snow in winter. The next time I visit will be winter...I promise.

Well, the Japanese are really the most polite group of people I've ever met. Their service, and how they will bow upon you leaving the shop even if the item you bought is as insignificant as a pencil...just impresses me so much.

Language and communication proved to be a problem there at certain occasions, but we were lucky we met people who could speak chinese. In fact, we met this Taiwanese who was on exchange in the minsu that we were staying in. Awesome chap, and we exchanged many views on life in our own countries. On the point of how Japanese are always so polite, he brought up a valid problem. Because they are brought up to be polite, they will show no signs of displeasure, even if they are displeased or unhappy with your actions. This may seem polite at first sight, but if it drags on, not being candid and frank with one another may seem to be a kind of hypocrisy. Okay, hypocrisy may be too serious a word, but you get my point.

I guess what we can learn from this is that there probably won't be something that is perfectly good, nor perfectly bad. There are always 2 sides to everything. Learning to accept things the way they are is key to understanding how the way the world functions as a whole.

okay, enough for tonight.

Hokkaido - Day 1

2011-06-12T23:25:00.002+08:00

Note: I usually keep a journal when I'm overseas. Since I loaned a laptop, I thought I might as well do today's entry on my blog.

So, here goes.

Japan has always been a country I wanted to visit. I briefly transited in the country many years back, and that was the only time I landed my feet in the land of the rising sun. I have heard stories, wonderful stories about the Japanese, and finally I get my chance to see for myself how wonderful the Japanese are.

I must say, I didn't have an excellent impression of the Japanese, because of what I studied in my history lessons. However, that was a prejudice that I learnt to do without. I was glad that I realised we shouldn't allow history to determine how we feel about something; things change, so can perception.

I must say the Japanese are the most courteous people I have seen. They take pride in their work, and serve others with so much humility (in the positive sense) and respect that I don't see how someone can fail to feel their sincerity.

It has to do with upbringing. And it shows, not only in everyday life, but in major events, such as the recent nuclear crisis. We have so much to learn from them, really.

Unfortunately, I think Sapporo is a rather boring place. One day here and I'm feeling a little bored already. I guess it has to do with me and my dislike for cities. The food here is awesome though. And I sure am looking forward to the days I am going to spend in the countryside.

Till then. =)

General Elections

2011-05-08T15:10:00.002+08:00

I have remained silent throughout the campaigning period. But I knew there was a great campaign going out there, and I knew Singaporeans, especially those below the age of 35, are no longer as politically apathetic as we thought them to be. I am greatly encouraged by the active discussion going on the internet, and I hope this will not disappear with the end of the elections.

Indeed, history has be made. WP made a breakthrough; they proved to PAP that the opposition could win a GRC. However, at the same time, we lost 2 great leaders - Foreign Minister Mr George Yeo and opposition veteran Mr Chiam See Tong. Let us just hope that the progress in local politics can justify the loss of our Foreign Minister.

Singaporeans have spoken, the decision has been made. I think it is important that PAP realises that they are no longer winning GRCs by a great margin, especially in strongholds like Marine Parade, and that it is almost by luck that they won Potong Pasir. As the ruling party of Singapore, they need to listen to Singaporeans more, and change their approach towards grassroots matters. At the same time, the opposition needs to deliver what they have promised, otherwise their hard work would all go to vain.

Let's hope that the next 5 years will be a good one. And when the next elections come, we will all know if we have made the right decision.

stupid?

2011-04-08T21:37:00.002+08:00

it's amazing how after so many years, I'm still feeling the same way.

I'm tired of being the one trying and giving. I try to make myself think of different ways, but I guess it's just too overwhelming. Today, I was reminded that I spent all the bad times alone. Yes, there were good times, time that I am reliving today. But I can't forget the bad ones, where I trudged through on my own. Perhaps it was the wrong decisions made, perhaps there were many other reasons. And perhaps I should stop whining and start cracking.

BP Day - Awesome Day with 105.

2011-04-07T22:02:00.004+08:00

Today's BP Day - a new initiative by the school for class bonding. I volunteered to go with 105, and I must say it's an awesome experience.

As compared to the main class activity, Cheering Competition, back in my days, I think this is a much better opportunity for class bonding. How many opportunities do you get to go out with the class and have fun and games the whole morning, with teachers and all students present? Besides, the organising and planning for games and activities are good opportunities for the students to have hands-on experience that will prove to be valuable in the future. Though it's a relatively new concept to them, I'm glad that everyone tried to put their differences aside and tried to make the event a successful and fun one. So kudos to the school's organising committee for BP day, and the students for coming up with so many ideas!

On hindsight, there are so many learning points from BP Day. Students learn how to plan responsibly, work together as a team, and deal with different types of emotions - fatigue, frustration. And this is much better than any normal project work, because the students actually get to see the results of their labour. such learning is difficult to achieve in the classroom, and I think teachers should make use of this opportunity to guide their students along, so that they gain the most out of it.

Honestly, I hope BP Day will be an annual event in BPGHS. There may be hiccups here and there, but I believe with experience these can be avoided, and it will be a day everyone looks forward to. Once again, kudos to everyone! =D

a mistake?

2011-04-07T21:32:00.003+08:00

had an unhappy incident in school recently. I'm still very affected by it actually.

what happened was I decided to give this particular experienced teacher feedback that the class has given me. this isn't the first time I'm doing this, but I guess this time round she took offence.

This was how the conversation went. I made the feedback to her, which she didn't really take in. Then she told me how she stoop herself to the 'low' level of the students, and how she actually was very upset over it because, quoting her, she is doing something that she knows is wrong and unprofessional. far enough. so I asked her, how would you conduct a lesson, given the same topic. and she gave me a description of how she would do it. It is a good paedology - lots of thinking involved. however, this method alone doesn't suit all classes. so I suggested to her that she could tweak the plan a bit to suit the needs of different classes. once again, it did not get in.

I don't know how the conversation went on, but the next thing we talked about was her asking me to teach the class, which of course I rejected. She said she wanted to observe my teaching and learn from me. I'm not sure if that is a dig on me and my lack of experience. Whichever the case, I told her that I won't; I would rather spend the remaining time helping the class adapt to her teaching, because after all she's the one who's going to see her through the year. And she didn't get it, either. So I practically wasted my half an hour talking to her. Fine. But what disappointed me was that she went to complain about me to another teacher, saying things like 'I did not offend him, why did he have to do this.' and so on. I told the same teacher that it is ironic that she is complaining about how she doesn't like it when other teachers and students say 'lies' behind her back, when she's doing the exact same thing to me. So much for double standards.

Sadly, It is this kind of teachers that make me rethink about teaching as a career. I guess the real world isn't as rosy as it seems; there are so many complications, so many issues. Like what most of the other teachers think, I believe that students should not be discouraged, or worse, be made to give up a certain subject because of a teacher. They should be independent learners, and try their best to not give up on the subject. And yet this shows the power of a teacher - he can make or break a subject. So I am telling the class, and will continue to tell them not to give up - with the correct attitude nothing is too difficult. Hopefully they will understand the picture one day. Sigh.

reflection.

2011-03-22T20:45:00.002+08:00

I realise teaching is a profession that requires constant reflection. Everyday, I find myself thinking about the lessons I've had with my classes, and asking myself if there is any way to improve the way I conduct the lesson, so that the students learn more, and hopefully have fun as well.

I also make it a point to obtain feedback from the students, because I believe that teaching is not just the teacher delivering content. Teaching is a subtle art; it involves not just the introduction of new concepts, but also facilitation of the students' learning process and meeting their needs. Once the students feel that their learning needs are met, they will feel happy to be in the class, and the lesson will become very effective for learning. it's a positive cycle, so building this right from the start is important.

This brings me to the point of morale. I think it is important to raise the students' morale. I've been to a class whose morale for a particular subject is very low, and I find most of them giving up totally, despite it being their final year. I don't exactly blame them, but I think that it is sad that such a thing is happening. A teacher, as I said, should not be just concerned about teaching content and setting killer papers, it is also encouraging the students and making them confident about themselves.

One last point about independent learning. I think independent learning comes about when students attempt questions or tasks that require application on their own, and then asking when they face difficulties. This is what I mean by teachers facilitating students' learning. However, I believe strongly the foundation should be taught and explained in the simplest manner possible. If they are supposed to read everything on their own at home, then what is the point of going to school and attending class?

To me, the ideal case should be as such: The students get the handout or notes before the lesson proper, and are told to read before the lesson. During the lesson, the teacher explains the concepts in the simplest way possible. Along the way, the teacher can include real life applications and/or little tasks that make the students think, given their knowledge on the subject matter. If possible, approaches to tackling the topic should be taught. Then, independent learning starts. Students are given assignments or tasks to work on their own, and in the process, they learn.

I have met a fellow teacher who believes that the ideal case is for students to learn a theory from the conduct of experiments. While I think this certainly is a good way to learn, especially in the case of science, this may not be the most practical and feasible method. First and foremost, it's time constrain. Let's face it, at the end of secondary 4, there is O Levels staring right at us. There really isn't time to do experiments all the time. And with a rowdy class, the effectiveness of such a method leaves much to be desired. Another important constrain is the lack of background knowledge. A important assumption in such a model of teaching is that the students actually do have a lot of such background knowledge. However, this is not true of the majority of the students. Before we actually start the experiements, it is important to equip the students with the background information, which more often than not involves foundation concepts. And who says such concepts and information will not spark off the inquisitive minds of our students?

There is so much to share, but for today I will stop here. More of this the next time.

teaching.

2011-03-20T23:09:00.002+08:00

just had a chat over facebook with two of my students. got to know them better in the process.

10 weeks as a relief teacher, the sense of wanting to teach when i graduate just keeps coming back to me. The sense of satisfaction that you get from seeing that your students learn, not just content knowledge, but about life is not something you get from other careers. You touch people's lifes, and hopefully make a positive impact.

of course there are things i don't agree with, but in life you can never have the best of both worlds. it's good enough that you are doing what you want, not just for the money, but for the interest, and even better, for the passion.

on a side note, i've been looking at vacation destinations. i'm thinking of doing volunteering, would be quite awesome i think. of course there are alot of views on this. what is important is to do what you believe in...and not go against your values and beliefs.

another 10 more weeks as a teacher. hopefully it would be a good one. =)

A Price too High?

2011-03-19T23:34:00.003+08:00

A Price Too High?
By BOB HERBERT
Published: March 18, 2011

Catastrophes happen.

No one thought the Interstate 35W bridge across the Mississippi River in Minneapolis would collapse. No one thought the Gulf of Mexico would be fouled to the horrible extent that it was by the BP oil spill. The awful convergence of disasters in Japan — a 9.0 earthquake followed by a tsunami and a devastating nuclear power emergency — seemed almost unimaginable.

Worst-case scenarios unfold more frequently than we’d like to believe, which leads to two major questions regarding nuclear power that Americans have an obligation to answer.

First, can a disaster comparable to the one in Japan happen here? The answer, of course, is yes — whether caused by an earthquake or some other event or series of events. Nature is unpredictable and human beings are fallible. It could happen.

So the second question is whether it makes sense to follow through on plans to increase our reliance on nuclear power, thus heightening the risk of a terrible problem occurring here in the United States. Is that a risk worth taking?

Concern over global warming has increased the appeal of nuclear power, which does not produce the high levels of greenhouse gases that come from fossil fuels. But there has been a persistent tendency to ignore the toughest questions posed by nuclear power: What should be done with the waste? What are the consequences of a catastrophic accident in a populated area? How safe are the plants, really? Why would taxpayers have to shoulder so much of the financial risk of expanding the nation’s nuclear power capacity, an effort that would be wildly expensive?

A big part of the problem at Japan’s Fukushima Daiichi power station are the highly radioactive spent fuel rods kept in storage pools at the plant. What to do, ultimately, with such dangerous waste material is the nuclear power question without an answer. Nuclear advocates and public officials don’t talk about it much. Denial is the default position when it comes to nuclear waste.

In New York, Gov. Andrew Cuomo said again this week that the 40-year-old Indian Point nuclear power plant in Westchester County, 35 miles north of New York City, should be closed. Try to imagine the difficulty, in the event of an emergency, of evacuating such an area with its millions of residents. “This plant in this proximity to New York City was never a good risk,” said the governor.

There are, blessedly, very few catastrophic accidents at nuclear power plants. And there have not been many deaths associated with them. The rarity of such accidents provides a comfort zone. We can look at the low probabilities and declare, “It can’t happen here.”

But what if it did happen here? What would the consequences be? If Indian Point blew, how wide an area and how many people would be affected, and what would the cleanup costs be? Rigorously answering such questions is the only way to determine whether the potential risk to life and property is worthwhile.

The 104 commercial nuclear plants in the U.S. are getting old, and many have had serious problems over the years. There have been dozens of instances since 1979, the year of the Three Mile Island accident, in which nuclear reactors have had to be shut down for more than a year for safety reasons.

Building new plants, which the Obama administration favors, can be breathtakingly expensive and requires government loan guarantees. Banks are not lining up to lend money on their own for construction of the newest generation of Indian Points.

In addition to the inherent risks with regard to safety and security, the nuclear industry has long been notorious for sky-high construction costs, feverish cost-overruns and projects that eventually are abandoned. The Union of Concerned Scientists, in a 2009 analysis of the costs associated with nuclear plant construction, said that once a plant came online it usually led to significant rate increases for customers:

“Ratepayers bore well over $200 billion (in today’s dollars) in cost overruns for completed nuclear plants. In the 1990s, legislators and regulators also allowed utilities to recover most ‘stranded costs’ — the difference between utilities’ remaining investments in nuclear plants and the market value of those plants — as states issued billions of dollars in bonds backed by ratepayer charges to pay for utilities’ above-market investments.”

The refrain here is familiar: “The total cost to ratepayers, taxpayers and shareholders stemming from cost overruns, canceled plants and stranded costs exceeded $300 billion in today’s dollars.”

Nuclear power is hardly the pristine, economical, unambiguous answer to the nation’s energy needs and global warming concerns. It offers benefits and big-time shortcomings. Ultimately, the price may be much too high.

A column from the New York Times.

I don't exactly disagree with it, but what struck me is how short-sighted it is. Yes, nuclear power isn't the perfect solution to our energy needs, and probably will never be.

Now, people can say that the costs for using nuclear power may be too high to bear. But what can we say, or do, when there is no longer fossil fuels left for us to burn? Do we even have a choice then?

We need alternatives, and responsible ones for that.

Do something, before it is all too late. Don't seek the easy way out.

Japan.

2011-03-17T22:49:00.002+08:00

My heartfelt condolences to the Japanese.

A 9.0 magnitude earthquake, and the tsunamis and nuclear meltdown that followed - all these could easily destroy a community.

But the Japanese stood strong. Their preparedness in dealing with the earthquake and the tsunami, and their calmness in dealing with the aftermath have more than just awed the world. There has been virtually no looting despite the shortage of food; some newspapers even reported that some Japanese actually chose not to take everything that was available so that people at the back of the queue would not go home empty-handed.

I think the people who are more concerned with how the earthquake will affect bond prices, interest rates and all should be ashamed of themselves. We have a community who is struggling to survive, and yet some are not a little interested in how we can help them. Has society and capitalism in general turned us into selfish and insensitive people? Probably.

Just a little note on the nuclear meltdown that resulted from the earthquake.

I have never believed in finding the perfect alternative for energy. I think it is extremely naive to believe that we can one day find a main source of energy that has completely no impact on the environment. Everything has its risks and negative impacts. Burning of fossil fuels releases carbon dioxide, which causes global warming. Harnessing energy from water is never an easy task- never belittle the power of water. The safest may be solar energy, but till today it is nowhere near to replacing fossil fuels as the main source of energy. And nuclear energy, the best alternative thus far - look at what happened in Japan.

But does that mean we should completely give up on nuclear energy? The reality is, fossil fuels are going to run out in 30-50 years time, even if we decide to completely ignore the impacts of using them to generate electricity. What will happen then, once the last drop of fossil fuel is burnt? Survive without electricity? Pray that another alternative which can supply the world with the same power will appear within this next 50 years? Don't be silly.

Reality is often cruel and harsh. But that does not give us reason to not face the problem, and run away from it. The truth is, fossil fuels are not going to last us forever. We need alternative sources of energy, and preferably cleaner forms, to replace fossil fuels. And nuclear energy is one that has the most potential. Despite the unfortunate incident in Japan, I think countries should not halt their nuclear pojects. Rather, what they could try to do, is to examine the risks of using nuclear energy and try to minimize the possible accidents and impacts of such usage.

Something so simple to understand, yet so difficult to achieve. Vested interests, politics, what else?

Sometimes I wonder, what has the world come to?

it's been a long long time.

2011-03-07T20:45:00.002+08:00

how time flies. it's already week 10 of term 1, and looking at the things I want to accomplish, I'm still pretty far behind. sigh.

been a busy two weeks in school, taking up a full-time teacher's load plus my own. and i realise that when you are over-stretched, you can't do your job as well as before. much as i try, when fatigue sets in I just don't perform as well. Hope my students are not shortchanged.

It's just 3 more days to go. I will be optimistic.

Been reading quite abit on the middle east. really pretty interesting. and now i understand the saying - the more you know, the lesser you know. ah, the irony of life.

cheers!

chinese new year

2011-02-03T23:31:00.002+08:00

it's chinese new year once again..a supposedly happy occassion. but looking at the floods in australia and the uprising in egypt, it probably isn't a great way to start the year. egypt is a interesting case study though...especially when i'm reading on civilisations and the like, this would be worth reading into.

on a more personal note, chinese new year could never be worse. spent the first day doing next to nothing, and the same would probably happen for the next few days. i suppose it has become a reality that chinese new years from now on would be like that, and i've learnt to accept it, much as I don't want to.

It's difficult to do a post when a super silly movie is screening on channel 8.

oh well. at least i've got a purpose now. a good job, and something good to read. after the genre on civilisation, i probably will move on to economics - maybe more on Keynes, and then back to stocks and financial instruments. I don't have alot of time left, hopefully I can finish these within the next 5 months i have.

ok...it's shorter than expected, but I will stop here.

Happy chinese new year everyone!

third week of school.

2011-01-21T17:50:00.002+08:00

third week of school has just ended, and I'm already starting to feel the drain. It certainly isn't easy being a teacher. as a relief teacher, my workload is half, or even lesser than a normal teacher. but there's always never ending work - lesson preparation, marking to do, and the list goes on. and you have appear in front of the class energized, and come up with all kinds of activities to keep the class engaged.

and that's why i really respect the senior teachers. after so many years, they are still doing so much for the students, and not let their fatigue bodies affect their work. this is what i called professionalism. what i have done in the past three weeks really pales in comparison...

as a new teacher, i struggle with many issues. i believe teaching is a career that requires experience; with time you learn and you find the best technique for each class that you teach.

there is so much to do, so much to learn. i see everyday as a new challenge, and although the job is tiring, i'm glad i chose it.

and i see the importance of loving the job you do. =)

happy 2011.

2011-01-10T22:20:00.002+08:00

it's been a long time since i last posted. before my taiwan trip if memory hasn't failed me. taiwan was fun, though it ended on a slightly lower note...

i've started my job as a relief teacher at my secondary school, and am settling down pretty well. i've both my own classes and classes that i co-teach with another teacher. it's a good start, and i look forward to the next half of the year.

today was the release of O level results. was kind of a deja vu experience for me. was reminded of the fond past...how everything was cool, cosy and all. well, last year's batch performed well, pushing the school back to band 1. congrats!

this next half of the year will be spent pursuing my interests and doing what i want to do. i will cherish this half year, because i probably will not get such a long holiday for the rest of my life.

a job found and lost.

2010-12-10T23:50:00.002+08:00

since hardly anyone reads my blog, i will just post it here.

less than two hours into my waitering job, i lost it. i agreed to swop groups with one guy, got discovered by a supervisor, who happened to be a ex warrant officer in e army, and then got told to go home.

i wouldn't say if it's army way of thinking, it probably is, but i guess that's how cruel the corporate world is. one mistake, and you may lose your job. i'm lucky this is just a temp job, which i no longer need to report to work after this incident.

i've always wanted to be a waiter, and i was this close to becoming one. i've learnt alot from e briefing by one of the supervisors, what i really lack is just the practical.

would i apply for another waitering job? probably not. even if i do, it won't be the same hotel.

now i understand why people say studying is better than working, and why some say they wanna be their own boss. it really doesn't feel good to be working under someone. makes me ponder upon my career options..

so another wish down. like in the movie rapezuel, you look for a new dream once your old one is realised. and that's what i'm going to do.

Melbourne, Victoria. The place to be. SIMPLY AWESOME!

2010-11-29T13:33:00.003+08:00

ok, enough of procrastination and rotting. i've found myself a job from tomorrow to friday, so i thought i better get started on this and finish it, before this post never materializes.

this post is going to be mostly words, photos will be via a link to those posted on facebook (it's a hassle to post photos on blogger - disappointed that it hasn't changed after so long.) and so the awesome story begins.

Day 1 & 2 photos: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=255808&id=525583158&l=21b6e2b9f6

Day 1 - Singapore - Melbourne - Philip Island

So it all begins at Changi Airport, where we took a night flight to Melbourne, arriving the next morning. Emirates is a good airline to fly, good food, inflight entertainment and service. After getting the much needed calling card, we took a airport shuttle, STAR Bus (Return for A$26), to Southern Cross Station, where we transferred to a V-Line Bus to Cowes, Philip Island, via Khoo Wee Rup. That should be the fastest and cheapest way to Cowes: the journey took about 2 hours, and cost A$10.50, if i'm not mistaken.

Upon arrival, we hunted for our accommodation, Cowes Caravan Park. it's about 10-15min walk away from the central, but that meant that it's quiet and peaceful. There were huge houses along the way...not a bad place to retire. After dumping our bags, we took a walk along the beach back to Cowes. Awesome view i must say.

Cowes, unfortunately, is a rather boring place. We walked around alittle, and then decided to head to the Penguin Parade. It was quite a mistake, because there's really nothing there, except the cute fairy penguins of course. We travelled by taxi, which is the cheapest way if you go in a group and did not follow a day tour to the Penguin Parade. There's a bus shuttle which will bring you to the venue at a stipulated time and bring you back to Cowes once it ends, but it's rather expensive, A$15 per pax. The taxi meter jumps at a crazy speed, but with 7 of us each paid less than A$10 return. And after looking at the cute penguins come to shore at dusk (it was really cold), we headed back to rest.

Day 2 - Philip Island - Stony Point - Frankston - Sorrento, Mornington Peninsula

We woke up early to catch the inter-island ferry to Stony Point. We got a shock initially as the jetty was pretty abandoned, less a few people fishing there. The only ticketing booth was closed. It turned out that tickets were sold on board the ferry, at A$10 (or somewhere there) each. And we happily boarded the ferry. BUT - If the previous night's sea breeze was cold, this was say 10 times worse? We sat at the uncovered section of the ferry. Served us right, but if given another choice I would take the same seat. It was a freezing 45min ride before we arrived at Stony Point, where we then transferred to the metro to Frankston. it was a quick half an hour journey. We had breakfast there, before taking a bus to Sorrento, which cost A$6 per person, with the journey lasting about an hour and a half.

Once again it was checking out the accommodation - YHA Sorrento - first. It wasn't too far off the town centre, and we met a Canadian traveller there, who gave us abit of information. the reception gave us ideas on what to do, and what good and cheap food there is at Sorrento. We had 2 family rooms with a shared toilet. It was comfortable, the only problem was the toilet - 7 of us had to share one.

We decided to do one of the trekking trails, which is about 4km, and then walk a bit to Portsea. The view along the trail is gorgeous, and we spent the time just playing along the beach and enjoying the scenery. The final part of the trail was through forests, which seemed a little like bashing to us. But the scenery was awesome, so it was all worth it. By the time we arrived at Portsea it's about 5, too late for snorkelling or any other sea sports. It was a pity, but not everyone wanted to do it, so i guess it wasn't that disappointing. And the water was cold, it kinda deterred us from trying also. we were tired and hungry by then, so we took a bus back to Sorrento (A$3 per person, expensive) and had pizza, as recommended by the hostel's reception. it's like one of the few shops open in the evening, so it's easy to find. Really good and cheap.

Day 3 and 4 photos -
Album 1 http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=255824&id=525583158&l=2e2ac508ba
Album 2 http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=256049&id=525583158&l=985914e4cd
Album 3 http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=256078&id=525583158&l=50d8d68936

Day 3 - Mornington Peninsula Day Tour - Melbourne

After two days of moving around on our own, we decided to follow day tours by Bunyip. The first one was through parts of Mornington that were either unaccessible by public transport or places that were not that well heard of. The bus picked us up from our hostel at about 9.30am, and then the tour began! First we were brought to Fort Nepean Nature Park, where a quarantine centre and army fortress was situated. Really good views of the sea once again, though the weather kinda spoiled things a little. The transporter at the park was really cool; it's driven by a tractor. We then went to the hot springs. We didn't enjoy the hotsprings of course, but we did enjoy a foot reflexology walk and a foot bath. Really relaxing after 2 days of walking. No photos, because of privacy. Had lunch there too. We then stopped briefly at a strawberry farm, and bought some strawberries (they weren't as sweet as we thought they would be). No strawberry picking because it's not the season. Then we headed to a vineyard for a wine tasting session. We had mixed response to the wine that we were served; i think it was pretty good. The final stop was Ashcombe Maze and Lavender Gardens. We had great fun with the mazes there, really fun and interesting. And the flowers there are just beautiful - especially the lavenders and dasies.

The day tour was disappointing because we were expecting to go places like Cape Schank, Point Nepean and Arthurs' Seat, as indicated on their website. But I guess the great service and the Maze Gardens came as a pleasant surprise to all of us. Plus we already had 2 days of great views, of the lack of scenic views didn't come as much of a loss.

We arrived back at Melbourne just in time for dinner. So we dropped into one of the chinese restaurants near our serviced apartment - more on that in the next paragraph. it turned out that the owner is a Singaporean who migrated to Melbourne thirty years ago. Her restaurant is celebrating 29th Anniversary, and I guess partly because we're Singaporeans, she gave us a great deal - 6 dishes + dessert for A$19 per pax. Really worth it. And when she brought out a handkerchief with a map of Singapore and pointed out where she stayed, which was Jurong - she really looked like she was about to cry. Must be really emotional for her.

And our serviced apartment for our stay in Melbourne - Knightsbridge Apartments. Really clean and comfortable, and a quick 15min walk to the city central. And it's affordable, we paid an average of A$50 per pax per night for our entire stay. The only disappointing part was the Wifi which didn't work. If you are there only for the Wifi, then I would suggest that you choose a hotel instead.

Day 4 - Great Ocean Drive Tour

This is a highlight for most people who go to Melbourne, and I must say the views are spectacular, if not awesome. Some of my friends preferred the views of the sea on Day 2, but I say it's subjective. We followed Bunyip again, for they give us free vouchers, including free entry to the Melbourne Aquarium, Eureka Skydeck and River Cruise, with every 2 day tours booked. Really great savings for people who are on budget.

So we left our apartment as early as 6.30am, and only returned at 9pm, clocking a total of 560km in a day. really amazing. just a side note, it's best not to follow this tour on a friday if you are shopping, as shops in melbourne close at 9pm on fridays, the latest in the entire week.

Our first stop is a lighthouse, a typical white coloured one you see in movies. well, as a matter of fact, it did appear in a tv serial before. Along the way, we stopped at a few scenic lookouts for photographs. Our tour guide was really good. Having done the tour so many times, she knew where the best lookouts were located, and what time to go to which attraction so that we could attract the crowds. She's really an amazing woman. At a young age of 31, she's been to so many places, worked at so many parts of Australia, and even in Spain. Really courageous, really admirable.

Then it was lunch at a park, where wild koalas, parrots, kookabaras were found almost everywhere. Although lunch was just a simple sandwich, eating together with the wildlife is an awesome feeling. Moving on, more scenic lookouts, a rainforest that hid a waterfall - timely walk to wake all of us up from the travelling, and the final 3 key attractions of the Great Ocean Drive - The London Bridge, the Loch Ard and the Twelve Apostles (though only 7 is left). I took the helicopter ride, which cost A$75, and I tell you the views from above is just spectacular. It was worth every cent. If you are the adventurous type, you could follow a walking tour, the Great Ocean Walk, which will cover you from Apollo Bay, somewhere mid-point of the Drive, to the Twelve Apostles. It will take a total of 6-7 days to cover 100+km, covering an average of 22km per day. My amazing tour guide did such tours before, and said it's really a good way to see the place.

And we bade the place goodbye. with the sunset behind us, it really was a enjoyable day tour, with lots of great scenic views. the best 560km i've travelled in my life.

Day 5 - 9 photos (Cont'd from album 3)
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=256078&id=525583158&l=50d8d68936
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=256092&id=525583158&l=0510270e39

Day 5 - Melbourne: CBD

We decided to spend the entire day exploring the Central Business District (CBD). A bit of introduction - Melbourne, especially the CBD, is a very walkable place. Everything is in grid form, so it's very easy to find your way. And if you are feeling lazy and don't feel like walking, there's always the City Circle Tram (Tram 35) and Free Tourist Shuttle Bus that you can make use of. Either one brings you to key attractions within Melbourne.

Our first stop was St Paul's Cathedral, which is just next to Federation Square and Flinders Street Station, all 3 iconic of Melbourne's CBD. After which, we walked to Bourke Street to have breakfast at Pancake Parlour - Really awesome pancakes! The shortstack (2pancakes) cost A$9.90, which is rather pricey, so be sure to bring the vouchers that give 1 for 1. The vouchers should be available in most apartments. If not, try the breakfast meals instead. Bacon and Eggs with 2 pancakes at A$15. definitely more worth it.

We then took the free tram back to Fed Square, and explored Centre for the Moving Image. Cool exhibits, but no photo taking. We walked to Federation Wharf, by the Yarra River, where all the river cruises are located. We decided against going for one even though we had the vouchers - it's one hour, and we could easily walk by the river in less than half the time. So we continued walking along Flinders Street, and went into the Melbourne Aquarium. King Penguins, and lot's of other kinds of animals. Really awesome.

We then popped to Duty Factory Outlet (DFO) at Southwharf, which was just across Flinders Street. The shops close darn early there, so we only had one hour to shop. It's a huge shopping centre, with many brands going on clearance sales. The things are not cheap in absolute terms, but if you think in terms of quality and the price of those brands in Singapore, it's definitely worth the buy. The bad thing though - many things are out of size, especially the pants.

Then it was dinner. We were walking along town and didn't know what to eat. So we just popped into this really posh restaurant cum bar, and it turned out to be a surprise fine dining experience. We weren't the richest kids, so we made do with only the main course and a bottle of wine. It was worth it actually, we paid from A$30 - A$40, depending on our main course, and the food was delicious, not to say the least. You can never get a fine dining experience in Singapore at this price.

The sun sets only at 8+, so we were just on time for the sunset at Eureka Skydeck after dinner. Really awesome view from above, and we were glad we caught the sunset. We then walked along Yarra River to Federation Square and to a street where Ding Dong Lounge, a pub with live bands was located. Good band performances, and good and cheap beer. Had a great night's out with my gang.

Day 6 - Queen Victoria Market, St Kilda's Beach

We took the free tourist shuttle bus to Queen Victoria Market. It's a huge market, with stalls selling everything from general retail, to fresh food to cooked food. We did breakfast and lunch there - the hotdogs are real good. Leave half a day to really complete the market, but note that it's closed on Mondays and Wednesdays.

We then took the free shuttle bus to St Kilda's, where we passed by the Shrine and the Royal Botanic Gardens. We chose to walk all the way to St Kilda Beach, which took us an hour and a half including breaks. There's always a tram you could take at A$2.80, which is really fast. Gets you there in less than 10min?

St Kilda's Beach is a really busy place. As the weather is getting warmer, there are many people sun-tanning, walking dogs, doing water sports. And it's a crazy party place at night, with so many pubs and night spots. It may get abit dodgy at night, so leave before the sun sets if you don't want to be caught in it. That's what we did, we left after dinner at one of the restaurants there. pretty awesome western food, at a reasonable price.

We took a tram back to CBD because we were all tired, and I must say the tram drivers there are humourous. They do communicate with the passengers via a PA system, and their comments are really funny. And the machine to buy the Metlink tickets is down, so we ended up taking the tram for free. Kudos to the tram driver!

Day 7 - State Library, Old Melbourne Gaol, Shopping at Smith Street, Dinner at Lygon Street

State Library was our first stop. Cool dome-shape architecture, good exhibits, and extremely condusive for studying. Old Melbourne Gaol is just nearby, it costs A$21 to get in, do get the 15percent voucher card if you can. Inside, you get to see how the very recently closed prison works. There's this guided part where you get treated as criminals, which is quite interesting.

Moving on, we walked to Smith Street, another duty factory outlet, where all the sports brands concentrate. it's not a shopping centre though, it's a street with many shops next to each other. What caught our attention, however, is not the sports outlets, but this shop called Lost & Found. You can find lots of vintage stuff there, from cameras to clothes to gramophone discs. Some of my friends spent 2 hours in there. There's also other flea shops along the street; I got a pair of 2nd hand D&G jeans for A$10. If you're meticulous enough, there're lots of hidden bargains to e found. They close at 6pm, so be there early.

Dinner was at Lygon Street, the famed street that sells awesome Italian Food. Tourists beware though, we got touted there when we were looking at their prices. Decide on which restaurants you want to go to, and go straight in. We ended up in DOC, a pizza shop out of Lygon Street. It's opened by native Italians, so it's really good. Other restaurants to recommed is Dolce Freddo, which is closed on Mondays, and a shop that has Ferrari decorations all over. For ice cream/coffee/hot choc, Brunetti is a good choice. We then took a half an hour walk back to our apartment.

Day 8 - Shopping at DFO Southwharf, Spencer Street

Today is shopping day! We spent the entire day at 2 DFOs, firstly at Southwharf, which houses the bigger one, and secondly at Spencer Street, located just above of Southern Cross Station. My friends had dinner at a Spanish restaurant, while I met up with a old friend. My friends said it wasn't that bad, but was a little pricey. Maybe because of the sparkling water - If you want plain water, say you want tap. Just a small tip.

Day 9 - Final Shopping + Coffee at Degraves Street

The pancakes at pancake parlour was so good, we went back for the second time. And then it was shopping. Some of us went back to Spencer Street, some to Chinatown to get nougats (slightly cheaper than Singapore), and some went to the casino at Crowne Plaza. Our last stop was Degraves Street, a small lane very near to Federation Square. It's a street famous for designer coffee, a cup of mocha only costs A$3.50, and it's really good.

And that ends our trip at Melbourne. It's a good place to be, good scenic views are just less than an hour's drive away. I thoroughly enjoyed the trip, hope my friends feel the same.

I hope this post will be useful to those who are looking to go to Melbourne in the near future. If you need any clarifications just leave me a comment, I will try my best to answer. =)

back from AWESOME melbourne!

2010-11-25T15:54:00.003+08:00

yesh, after 10 days of holiday, i'm back from melbourne.

i wanted to do a full fletched post on this trip, but thought i would do a short one first while i'm waiting for my photos to load.

i must say it's an awesome place to be, and a definitely great and enjoyable holiday. and one of my best birthday presents ever. the views, the wildlife, the sea, the food, the shopping, and of course not forgetting the great company.

things were more expensive than what you can find in singapore, but service there is superb, which makes every cent spent there worthwhile. and the best thing about buying things there is that quality is assured, even with clearance sales. so it is unlikely that you receive goods with substandard quality. we got a couple of good deals there, and they were really worth the money.

i will stop here for now, and leave the complete post for later.

time to select photos for uploading! and did i not mention, i took no less than 1900 photos. =)

happy 20th birthday.

2010-11-14T01:05:00.002+08:00

birthdays are supposed to be happy occassions. you spend it with your friends or family, and everyone is at happy.

or at least that's the way it should be.

i'm not saying that it isn't for me, like most other years i had dinner with jordan and hz. it's just that there are some things that i've wanted to express, and am not sure if today, being my birthday, is the best day to do it.

truth be told, i've been reading my blog entries, since the time i've begun to blog. i won't say that i've matured tremendously over the past few years, but i guess there is a significant shift from always mentioning that same few people over and over again, to how i really feel about certain issues and events. and even within those thoughts, there's a shift from the same few people, to more important issues and decisions that i have to make.

i guess it's true that as one ages, his priorities change. or maybe maturity plays a role.

i'm not saying that i no longer care about my friends. i just don't allow myself to be so affected by their well-being. i have learnt to value life more, and lead it the way i want to and not let others affect it as much as they did before. i also learnt to open up to more people, and have found more good friends in the process.

to be a little more specific, that few people that i always mention are marcus, wilson, hz and jordan. marcus is now pursuing a degree at Canada, and we still do talk to each other from time to time. rather unfortunately i must say, i am no longer as close to wilson as i was in the past. i won't delve into the reasons, i guess it's just because fate made it that way.

jordan and hz. the more troublesome part. we had quarrels, long periods of cold wars, and many many other minor conflicts. on my way home today, i thought about the entire thing hard. and i realise, there is no point in doing so. letting nature take its course is best. as you grow older, it gets more and more difficult to hang around and chill with friends, and just talk about literally everything. and being able to do that, at least for now, is good enough.

ok. so much for friends.

family. something that i have ignored for quite some time.

after the fall out between my parents and my maternal relatives, i still do keep in close contact with my aunts and uncles. i guess i'm just too used to the crowd to totally stop going to visit and hang around with them. especially with my cousins, who are all growing up into teenagers. but i still got to face the cold, harsh facts. that my parents are partially, if not totally, responsible for the fall out.

i'm not sure if i should say this. but there are times when i close my eyes, and i ask myself if i still love my parents. i am grateful for them raising me up, but up till this very day what they have given me is monetary support, and emotional support in the form of non-disturbance when i'm busy. true parental love? i'm really not sure. maybe that's their way of expressing their love. but for someone like myself, i really don't know if that is enough.

i guess this is something that won't be sorted out so soon. for now, i just want to enjoy my holidays (and hope that nothing particularly ugly happens), and live life the way i want it to be.

and yea, finally, happy 20th birthday.

tina turner.

2010-11-11T00:38:00.002+08:00

i've been listening, or rather watching, to Tina Turner's performances on Youtube. And I must say, she's awesome. No other female singer can sing and DANCE like her at her age. She's seventy. She's a legend. Pop singers nowadays have so much to learn from her.

third official day after ORD. nothing much has been done. i read up abit on the federal reserve's monetary policy, and columns by Paul Krugman. at least i could understand better how the policies work, and what is needed to stimulate the economy - expected inflation. and how china's policies are actually going against the world's. but i think i know too little to make a fair judgment, so i will leave it for now.

tomorrow onwards will be busy. which is great. things to do on my checklist. i'm one who can't survive having nothing to do. i will just go nuts. so, i've decided to look for a job after i fly back from melbourne. extra income is always good, and i can keep my otherwise idle brain functioning.

Multi-Level Marketing

2010-11-07T23:27:00.002+08:00

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is good. Looking forward to the Half-Blood Prince, and the Deathly Hallows, which will be out real soon.

Ok, i'm playing my playlist on my ipod for the umpteen time after i ORD-ed. Time to update my ipod...

Anyways, that isn't the main point of this post. Today's post will be on Multi-Level Marketing, better known as MLM.

Yesterday one of my friends brought me to one of the better-known MLM companies in Singapore. I haven been poached by another MLM company before, and trust me, that one sucks to the core. Still, I decided to go in with an open-mind, and listened to the speaker with as much attention as I could give.

I was, as a matter of fact, biased against MLM companies. There are friends around me who claimed to be scammed, and the Sunshire Empire saga didn't help things either. So what prompted me to relook MLM is this - the friend is someone i do trust, and that we should look at things with an open mind.

So, this particular company has a good business model. it basically did everything it could in terms of marketing, sales and advertising. And its products certainly do have a demand. So the only question i have is, why then do they need MLM to boost their sales? I will address this question later.

Back to MLM. When I got home, I decided to read more about MLM. and so I learnt that MLM only becomes illegal and a scam when it's sole focus is on recruitment and not sales. Which essentially was the case of Sunshine Empire. However, there is a very fine difference between a legal MLM company, and one that is a scam. And it all has to do with the pay structure.

MLM companies pay you according how high-ranking you are in their hierarchy, and how high-ranking you are depends on how many 'subordinates', or members as they like to put it, you have under your charge. So those people who earn a 5 figure sum has alot of people under them. they possibly do not have to fight for sales; they just have to recruit more members, who will then do the sales for whoever brought them in. but of course it depends on the individual. is the sole focus recruitment, or working together as a team to fight for greater sales? that would determine whether or not this business model becomes a scam.

i am trying to hold a neutral stance towards MLM (and of course hope that I am successful). What i finally concluded is this: that MLM is just one of the many marketing methods available. and like technology, the method is always neutral. what makes it harmful, or in this case illegal, is the user. we shouldn't just claim that it is a scam given the bad examples in the past, and should examine and evaluate it carefully before we actually give it such a bad name. To address my question earlier, MLM is an effective, and sometimes only method for certain industries, such as insurance, to be sustainable. and that's why it's legal, even in Singapore, to practise MLM.

eventually, i didn't join. firstly because i don't have the start up capital, secondly because my idea of doing business isn't what MLM offers. My idea of business is basically setting up a shop and selling goods, preferably hand-made or hand-picked from it. I like doing it on my own. More of direct retail. But that's for another post.

That night, i reminded my friend of the pitfalls of MLM, and told him not to lose himself along the way. Money can blind. I hope he got my message...And this means that an opportunity to work together, is lost.

There will be plently of opportunities in the future. But for now, I wish him all the best. =)

myORD.

2010-11-05T20:22:00.003+08:00

As promised, a new blogskin.

before i left camp, i sent out a pretty long email to my boss/OC/S4, giving reflections on the various key events that i participated with. some people may think that such reflections are never useful, but i think it allows me to think about the lessons learnt in the past 1 year 10 months, and how they are truly applicable to the working world.

of course, due to the sensitive nature of the information involved, i will not be including that email here. let me instead start with a general timeline of events.

firstly, enlistment. i enlisted on 8 january 2009. after 9 weeks, it was POP. many things happened in this 9 weeks, including my ankle injury. i was then posted 46SAR, which became my unit for the rest of my NSF life, less than the month i was on MC and the 5 weeks i was on course at Signal Institute.

it was a long 20 months at the unit. first at SP Coy, then to HQ Coy. I got to know many people from the many key events that I was involved in. In chronological order, live range 1, ATEC Stage 1, LAB check 1, live range 2, Ex Bold Kurukshetra in India, ATEC Stage 2, live range 3, LAB check 2, ORD parade. And this doesn't include the many other minor tasks that came along the way.

it was great meeting and working with new people; it allows you to see how different people will react to the same type of scenario. Especially in ATEC Stage 2, i see the importance of good management skills, and how communication and proper planning is important, if not crucial, for the success of any event.

of course, there's always 2 sides to a coin. i'm not going to waste an entire paragraph complaining or whining about how certain commanders have disgusting work ethics, but i must highlight that the 'covering your own ass' attitude should not be condoned. i really hope i won't see anymore of such attitude, for it is this that destroys trust and causes things/events to fail.

in retrospect, it has been a good 22 months. new friends are made, special mention to my bmt section mates and the manpower branch from 46SAR. news things are learnt, and new experiences gained. i probably won't agree to another 22 months in the SAF, but i'm glad i had gone through this phase.

now, it's back to a civilian, and am definitely looking forward to my trips that are coming real soon.

cheers! =)

ORD!

2010-11-05T00:56:00.001+08:00

Finally, after 1 year 10 months, I have officially ORD-ed!

A new blogskin, and a longer post, I promise.

Till the next time. =)

long long hiatus.

2010-10-24T19:09:00.002+08:00

i realised it's been a month since i last typed anything in my rotting blog. yes, i've been busy with different things. and my recent dispute with a car rental company hasn't been helping. well, at least it's settled for now.

as my ORD draws closer (I've about 5 working days left), i'm beginning to look forward to the life i'll be leading after that. i have 2 wonderful trips that are well underway, and i think my relief teaching application at BPGHS is successful. after 1 year 10 months in the SAF, it's really time i did things i really wanted to do, without anything or anyone restricting me.

hmm. maybe a change in the blogskin soon. everything needs a change. i'm slowly trying to change the genre of music i have in my ipod. katy perry and taylor swift are just not my cup of tea. =/

i will try to update more in the future. like a full fleged post after my melbourne trip. haha. cheers!

in retrospect.

2010-09-29T14:33:00.003+08:00

yesterday i visited mrs joseph at her house. hz went along too. we went for dinner at pizza hut's, and talked about many things, ranging from our plans, to hers.

i've only been to her house once, but i've liked it trememdously since. so it came to me as a surprise when she said she has sold her house, and will be shifting to somewhere at changi village soon.

if you know the location of her house you would know that her house is worth a lot. money aside, her house is one which gives you a cosy feeling; one that makes you feel that you are really at home. so when she explained to us the reasons why she chose to sell the flat and shift to somewhere less congested and more relaxed, i could tell that she has thought it through and made a firm decision. and a very good one too.

you see, most urban people like you and me spend their lives slogging their guts off in work. some of us even work till we die. i guess it is important that at a certain age, we slow down and take a look at what we have achieved thus far and what are the things that we want to achieve but have not, because of our busy schedule. choosing to retire at a more secluded part of the nation is definitely a good choice; it allows us to appreciate the finer things in life, things we probably never took notice of in the past. and for that, i really admire her.

during dinner, she also talked about her son, who just graduated from cambridge. in a nutshell, he's quite lost after his graduation, and has spent the past month thinking about his future. i could tell her helplessness and her love for her son as a parent...somehow such simple yet genuine love is getting increasingly difficult to find. sigh...

i was reminded of my late grandmother. as she aged, what she really wanted was accompaniment, and the only worry she had, even on her very last breathe, is her children. i see a similar reflection on mrs joseph. as she retires, she's happy that there are still students who look for her and keep her company, and giving her opportunities to try new things (like pizza hut and ice cream - she's very strict on her diet). and of course, how she is constantly worried about her children, who doesn't want to stay in singapore. i hope i've made the right step in keeping in contact with her, and hope this visit won't be the last one anytime soon.

on a seperate note, someone asked me if i have ever wondered if the ongoing office politics around me (they seem to happen everywhere i go) is due to myself. i thought about it, and came to this conclusion: office politics is present wherever you go. the only difference is whether you care about it, and whether your values cause you to feel strongly against it and thus complain about it. i admit i complain a little bit too much sometimes, but i only see it as a way of relieving my frustrations from work. i hope this is a good enough explanation.

busy busy.

2010-09-26T00:36:00.002+08:00

it's a long break, been busy as usual. meeting up with old friends and teachers, holiday planning, and personal statement.

it's going to be the same for the next few weeks till i ord. at least i'm doing productive work.

i'm beginning to question the existence of my blog. it's really becoming a monologue. or maybe that's how it is supposed to be.

random thoughts crossing my mind...makes me appreciate random thoughts even more.

cheers. and seven-11. =)

AHM 2010

2010-09-12T20:10:00.002+08:00

i'm a proud finisher of the 21km Army Half Marathon.

for someone who had a ankle surgery not too long ago, i consider this a great achievement. although i had cramps at the 6km mark and walked from the 18km mark to the 20km mark, i still managed to complete the run in about 2 hour 45 minutes. Not a good timing, but for a beginner like myself, it's good enough.

i decided to run with 2 of my friends today, and coincidentally it's their birthdays today. it was a good run, with us encouraging each other to push on. but on retrospect, i think that it would better if i had run alone. a marathon is an individual sport; it is a challenge between your body and your mind. although perhaps every run will make you a lonelier person...but there are certain things only one can do for oneself.

so, if i ever decide to be crazy and sign up for standard chartered marathon, i will be running it alone.

that aside, i had a good talk with one of my bmt section mates yesterday (or was it the night before?). he reminded me many things which i tend to forget as i get depressed or feel lousy. i guess i appreciate what i have around me more with friends like this, and i am eternally grateful.

for now, it's more decisions to make; decisions that will affect my future. =)

世界那么大，人生本是五味杂陈。
不过我想只要有一颗热爱生命并且知足惜福的心，
酸甜苦辣都将幻化为一股滋养的清香甘甜。

before i get too busy...

2010-09-09T10:45:00.002+08:00

finally, the integrated audit is over. what follows is 3-day 'work' weeks...and slackiness in camp!

well, i hope it will be another meaningful weekend. university applications, scholarships, holiday planning...and ahm! that's provided i get well...21km will be an achievement for me. =)

i was watching Chee Soon Juan's response to PM Lee's National Day Rally, and some comments posted on popular forums in this issue. Well, while there are things that PM Lee missed and that PAP's policies are never perfect, we really need to put things into perspective. PAP has done relatively well in the past decades, and has built a strong enough foundation for us to tide through crisises. To say that PAP doesn't deserve our next vote in the next election because of petty reasons...you really need to think again. And for all those superficial and poor policies that people are coming out with, please, think of the consequences. Policy making isn't as easy as it seems.

Or maybe I should be glad that Singaporeans are finally concerned with politics, and are no longer the apathetic lot? hmm...

national day rally 2010.

2010-09-05T14:50:00.002+08:00

another busy weekend - holidays to plan for, tuition classes to prepare, comex, and the list goes on. well, at least i'm being productive here.

however busy i am, i promised myself i will talk about the National Day Rally 2010. PM Lee, I must admit, is a good speaker, although his mandrin could still be improved. He brings forward a personal touch that not many leaders could do as well, and memorizing such a long script is impressive to say the least. Now for the issues covered.

Firstly, the usual stuff about the economy. Yes, our economy is improving, nothing much to comment on here.

Secondly, immigration. a problem that has been with us for many years. PM Lee made the justification for allowing foreign talent and workers in as easy to understand as he could. But as our population just crossed the 5 million mark, the key is now the quota that we should set for foreigners. and for embracing them into our society, Singaporeans must understand that foreigners are here to do jobs that Singaporearns either cannot or don't want to do. It is never an easy task integrating foreigners into a society, and more definitely can be done.

And then transport. The train distruption between Jurong East and Clementi this weekend is close to a disaster, if not one. But then again, the government is doing its best to improve the existing infrastructure. I'm not going to question why the government did not forsee a hike in ridership and start the works a few years earlier, especially so for the case of the Jurong East MRT. But what irks me are 2 issues - that (with the exception of Jurong East) the East are receiving more focus than the West, and that trains are still coming at 6 min interval during non peak hours, causing trains to be packed like they are in 7am in the morning.

Thirdly, housing. I'm not very familiar with the old rules, so I may not be in the best position to comment on this. But I've been following the papers closely this couple of days, and there are a few new rules that seem to be contradictory to our policies on immigration. One of which is that you got to sell your private property, whether in Singapore or overseas, within 6 months if you want to buy a resale flat here. This has the greatest impact on PRs. Many of them own private property in their home countries where their families reside in. Making it compulsory to sell their private property puts them in a dilemma - To sell their private property and result in their families having nowhere to stay or to not buy a flat in Singapore but opt to buy a condo or leave altogether? So much for making PRs feel more like home in Singapore and encouraging them to be citizens. I really wonder if the policy makers thought of this when they made the decision.

Finally, education. Another contradictory policy in place - IP. On one hand they are trying to shift the focus from a do-or-die examinations (especially the PSLE), on the other they are expanding the IP and even offering it to the N(A) students. While I do see the benefits of the N(A) one (that on another post when I'm freer), I think the current one has too many cons that come with it. Yes, it does allow more room for independent learning and reduces the dependence on O Levels, it is one which breeds complacency and inevitably makes PSLE extremely important, as that is the benchmark for acceptance into IP. I've talked about the IP before, so I guess I will leave the topic here, for now.

And I'm disappointed that the mother tongue policy isn't mentioned.

that's about all I have now...I have to get back to work. =)

meaningful weekend

2010-08-29T18:04:00.002+08:00

as my ord date draws closer, i find myself busier during weekends...with meaningful things. my to-do list is getting longer and longer, and i wish for more time during weekends to complete them, one by one.

for now, apart from my regular reading, it's planning for my melbourne and taiwan trip. planning is tedious but fun, and i'm really looking forward to these trips...provided i can still book my tickets for taiwan.

on a seperate note, i wanted to comment on the private tuition industry in singapore. but as my book in time nears, i guess i will have to leave it for next week...

another 4 day week. hope it will be a fast one. =)

travel.

2010-08-23T16:59:00.002+08:00

i've just booked tickets for my melbourne trip with my bmt section mates, and will be booking tickets to my taiwan trip soon. as i was planning for both trips, i realise how important it is to bear in mind what the purpose of the trip is; an attempt to squeeze too many activities or goals into one trip will end up making it a wasted one.

and so, i will be busy with planning both holidays for the next couple of weeks. i suppose it's a good thing, at least i'm doing something productive. and of course not to forget, my overseas college applications. that, i'm still undecided.

moving on, there are a couple of topics that i wanted to comment on, but i'm just lazy to think in depth. i guess i will just use the 'touch-and-go' method here...

1. the distance-based fares.
after its implementation, there are people who complain that their travel expenses have increased (i'm one of them). i must say that no new policy will benefit everyone; it's always the case of subsidizing one group of commuters to benefit another. in the past, it was those who traveled by direct buses who benefited and those who made transfers who are penalized - what they call the transfer penalty. today, with the new system in place, the transfer penalty is removed and the whole fare system is made 'fairer' by calculating travel fares based on distance. while this may sound logical to me, i think it's important to note that the idea of 'fairness' is highly subjective; what may seem fair to one person may not be the case for another. in the past, the fare system was unfair to those who made transfers. today, the system is made fairer by calculating the fares based on distance, such that those who make direct trips pay the same as those who make transfers, provided the distance travelled is the same. however, more often than not, the direct trips often travel over a longer distance than transfer trips. moreover, there is not enough incentive (sufficient bus services that offer transfers and long waiting time) to attract commuters to benefit from this new system. is this still considered as 'fair'?

another controversial point is the conditions that come along with this distance based fares. let's not talk about the time limit of 2 hours (whether or not this time limit is realistic is another topic to argue about) and the maximum number of 5 transfers. the one that i think is really ridiculous is the mrt fares - how they are not based on distance travelled alone, but based on the shortest distance travelled, which includes walking time from one platform to another. with more mrt lines being built, our mrt system will get more complex, so much so that it will be difficult for a commuter to figure out which is the shortest available method to get from one place to another. the conditions that come along with the new fare system does not help to simplify things. instead, its lack of clarity on how walking distance and time taken to travel will result in commuters paying more if they pick the wrong choice. there are two options available - come up with a system that will conveniently tell commuters which is the shortest route to take when travelling from one place to another (which will cost money), or simply remove the time-factor.

yes, i simply cannot stand how profit-hungry public transport operators are in Singapore. and their lack of transparency in the methodology used to obtain their statistics to support the new fare system is not helping. i agree that there are people who benefit, and those who benefit will not call to say that 'i've benefited from the system' as much as those who complain that they have to pay more. but if the general consensus is that more people are paying more than paying less, then something is wrong with the new system. to be fair to LTA, I will give this system more time before my next comment.

2. YOG

There have been lots of complains on this widely advertised event. some are unhappy that MCYS had busted their budget more than twice, some demand an apology from Dr Balakrishnan, some are unhappy of the ticketing. Well, this is an inaugural event, there is bound to be some uncertainty to it. looking at how youths from around the world get to compete with each other in this rare opportunity and benefit from the experience and exposure, i'd choose to believe that the YOG has been beneficial for all the participants.

as for the budget - it remains a fact that they have busted the budget. some of the money spent may or may not be necessary, and it is a mistake on the ministry's part. but we have proven that we could host an international event well (look at India and the upcoming Commonwealth Games), and you could imagine if we flopped in this event. there may not be a YOG anymore - and imagine the lost to the participants! we made a mistake, we learn from the mistake, and we move on.

on the argument that this sum of money could be better used to help the needy - let us put this argument on the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games. China isprobably be more in need of that kind of money to help the poor in the countryside than us. But remember, there are economic benefits that come along with the organising of this event. The spending by participants and the YOG staff all count as contributions to the economy, and this will trickle down to the needy eventually, through aid by the government in other forms.

Ticketing. I believe this was due to the kia si-ism of Singaporeans. When they realise that tickets are not snapped up fast enough, or for fear that the tickets would not sell, they sold most of the tickets to schools via MOE. of course, students are not able to stay throughout the event, and this will result in empty seats, which doesn't reflect well on us. they have corrected this by reselling the tickets, which I think is a good move other than the fact that it will mean double income for the organizers, which is unfair. I suppose the government needs to have more faith in the public - that Singaporeans will want to watch the Games and will buy tickets to watch them. Empty seats and lack of tickets really doesn't reflect well on us.

After reading so much on this hype, I think Singaporeans got lots to learn. We need to stop whining and complaining at every matter, and learn to look at things at the bigger picture.

missing?

2010-08-15T18:09:00.002+08:00

been a long time since i posted.

it's getting more and more difficult to survive in camp, with the kind of 'intelligent' things i got to do. and i only realised that those were a 3SG's job. i'm not about to start ranting, so never mind...

had a great section outing on saturday. my bmt buddies never fail to cheer me up whenever we meet. haha. well, we decided on a backpacking trip to aussie, hope everything falls into place. it really sounds like great fun, with a group of awesome people. =)

before i get all emotional again, i wanna comment on the recent hype on the YOG games. although the government has exceeded its budget up to 2 times on this inaugural event, and there has been lots of negative feedback on the food served to the volunteers and how SAF personnel and students are 'activated' for the opening ceremony, i think the results of this event remains to be seen. After all, it's the first time the world is seeing such a big event hosted by a relatively small country. there's much anticipation and hope for it to be a success. so let us not jump into conclusions so quickly, and welcome this event with a open heart.

hmm. another long week in camp. with better and more meaningful things to do, i hope.

inception

2010-08-01T19:56:00.002+08:00

i managed to find time to watch inception. and it was good enough to trigger this post.

i didn't particularly enjoy the movie; i found it more scary and overwhelming instead.

the concept of introducing a thought into your dream and subconscious mind, and allowing it to grow into something so strong that it cannot be removed at all...it's just too scary.

you see, throughout history, there had been many examples where a simple thought turned out to a radical and dangerous one, and much violence and conflict ensued. even for myself, i've been preoccupied by a certain thought for many years and until today, i have trouble trying to eradicate it.

i'm still at a loss of words now. we know how powerful thoughts can be, how thoughts can evolve into action and how actions can eventually evolve into habits. yet how it is portrayed in the movie...the mere reality of it is...overwhelming.

maybe i have lost my touch in words. or my ink doesn't flow anymore. whichever the case, we cannot and must not belittle the power of a single thought. it may or may not be expressed in words; it may be just floating somewhere in your subconscious mind. but when it decides to find a place in reality, you may find that the thought has planted its roots for so long a time that it is impossible to eradicate.

jay chou concert 2010

2010-07-24T00:37:00.002+08:00

as far as i can remember, this is the first real pop-star concert that i ever attended. and i decided not to bring any camera devices (not even my handphone camera), so that i could be in the atmosphere fully.

and indeed, jay chou did not disappoint me. the songs, the visuals, the dance moves, and of course, the piano.

let me try to describe the key features in the concert. for those who are going to tomorrow night's and sunday night's concerts, you may not want to read on. =p

the opening was impressive. there was this pyramid-looking structure, and a laser display was screened using that structure as a 3D screen. The effect was wonderful - you could just imagine the crowd's reaction.

then it was themed performances - love songs, songs representing the 4 seasons, dances...and the list goes on. my favourite was the part which involved a platform surrounded by a screen. As he performs 3D animation is screened...and no words can describe the marvel of the animation.

and finally there's a short clip which records his works in his 10 years in showbiz...and words that came straight from his heart. it was all too touching...

the sequence of the performance was great, and it was really an awesome concert. i think what makes jay chou stand out as a singer/artiste is his focus on both detail and visuals. yet, he doesn't forget that he is a singer, and creates opportunites to impress his listeners with his vocals.

will i go to his concert again? yes. will i continue supporting his works? yes.

i just can't find any reason to say no.

jay chou ftw!!!

settling down...

2010-07-12T14:47:00.002+08:00

never tasted a worse packet of bee hoon.

my room is in a mess now, the aftermath of shifting house. have to make myself unpack everything later. books, clothes....and loads of rubbish.

i apologize for the lack of posts, was busy with ATEC, shifting, and now NDP. Not to mention the world cup which just ended, though i didn't watch as many matches as i did on the previous one. thought it was kinda screwed up this year.

Bringing primary 5 students for the NE show was fun and enjoyable. they are really one energetic lot, making hell lot of noise even on the trip back to school. you could see how times have changed; the entertainment and gadgets that children nowadays enjoy are so vastly different from those of my time. i'm not sure if 'spoilt' is the right word to use, but they are certainly having it better. and i'm certainly surprised at how all of them could sing Kit Chan's 'Home', though that song was the theme song back when i was in primary school. those were the days...

moving on, i think i'm finally settling down with what i have. i'm content with my status quo, and have decided that i should stick with my values and what i believe in, whatever the circumstances. it's important not to lose yourself along the way. there will be opportunity cost, but what matters most is that you make the decision based on what you want. for me, job satisfaction and not being forced to something i do not like to do are more important than anything else...

and i realise my point of view in many things differs from many. and it is truly reflected in the horoscope analysis in the previous post...the wonder of astrology.

life is short. you really need to make full use of it. i can't wait for my NDP duties to be over, so that i can start my next phase of life. apart from reading, i'm going into photography. looking into some pictures that my friends took, i realise how difficult it is to take good pictures. but that is a challenge for me to overcome!

life is short. let's not waste it. =)

七分之一年的时间，可以是空转，也可以换来 (这样) 崭新的人生。
人生的转折就像是起伏的浪潮，想要过的人生，就应该紧紧掌握在自己的手上。
不断的冒险，才会有源源不断的热情，才能证明自己真正的活着。
世界那么大，有些决定要做了才知道是对与错。
属于自己的琢梦之旅，不管什么时候开始，永远都不嫌晚。。。

2010-07-12T14:42:00.000+08:00

天蝎座(Scorpio) 天蝎，生于秋深。性喜静，意清幽。爱之切，怨亦深。本质轻名利，但拥有成名得利的天赋。　　偏重灵与肉的完美结合。直觉力之准之锐，行动力之潇洒之特,常令徒有虚表之人忌愤不已。天蝎，一个别具一格的星座。格调分明有别常人，心胸高妙不露于表。常容人难容之事，亦笑人可笑之处。　　对于朋友，重质不重量，高度要求知心。宁可孤独，也不违心。对于爱情，宁缺毋滥。宁可抱憾终生，也不苟且凑合。风流不羁的言行下，执着追求一种宗教意识的爱情信仰。内心具有高度责任性，忠诚性，自律性以及矛盾性。浪漫儒雅，风趣超脱。拥有奇异诱人的容貌气质。根本上，提倡由爱生性的性爱模式，鄙视纯粹的兽性性行为，但，自己却又常在意志薄弱时，自虐般地沉溺其间。　　天蝎大多恩怨分明，黑白绝不混肴。犹如包公，宁可得罪众官，也要奖惩公道。多思少言的特质，齐全透彻的智慧，使一切真相假面恐慌不已。因此，本质静默孤僻的天蝎们极易招惹他人的非难和灌上莫须有的罪名。而其强硬又柔弱的本质，常使其背负黑锅也不辩护，不低头。典型的'独当千古错，冷漠自逍遥'的天蝎风格。只有在忍无可忍时，天蝎才会真正采取报复行为。可也因其很多时候过于忍辱负重，好比老实人发火，报复也就更显突兀强劲，反令圆滑的小人真正的祸首们恼羞成怒，借机大肆渲染。由于天蝎有隐忍为善的一面，更有别致的独特气质，从而也导致了天蝎倍受他人嫉妒却常被反咬一口的现象出现。也因为典型的天蝎,并不擅长疏通改善人际关系，更不善于有效地表达澄清自己，从而成为了十二星座里最具争议的一个星座。　　天蝎们拥有天赋般灵性的思维，结合现实的洞察，产生了异于常人的思索角度。爱情观，友情观，人生观，皆如此。由于意识超常，天蝎们总是：苦于红尘无知音，不如隐形爱孤独。天蝎的确就是这样极端：不是最另类的现代人，就是最另类的原始人。　　人们研究天蝎的误区在于没有能力到达天蝎的心理根本。　　其实，天蝎们一生都在寻求知心的朋友，同时他们也容忍对手的存在，但，并非制造敌人。要知道，天蝎本性不好战，但具备战斗的智慧和能量。请注意：这是关键。所以你可以成为天蝎的对手和朋友，但，不要把天蝎当敌人。因为，天蝎从不主动侵犯他人的利益。你也不要做些低层次的敌对事情，那只能显得你自己无聊挫败。比如：如果你煽动众人，想用流言蜚谣打击算计，甚至孤立天蝎，那么不久你就会发现天蝎依旧活得很洒脱，很独特。因为，他们本来没有把你当敌人，某种意义上，是你自己'自作多情'，以小人之心度君子之腹了。而这种俗不可耐的敌对伎俩，对于天蝎们来说，无疑是一堆可笑差劲的破招。天蝎生性渴望理解,却不奢求理解，安于孤独，更能乐于孤独。天蝎的优势在于，对于别有用心的人，能够一眼看穿，并完全做到视若无睹。也许，当你自鸣得意时，天蝎想的正是不和这头牲口一般见识！看，天蝎就是这样的心态，清高地忍让，忧郁地承受，却，酷得干脆利落，宛如一位高超的剑手，不是不过招，只是你非对手。为什么你非对手，因为你已经把自己立意为敌人。对于敌人，不用过招。兴趣无时不屑一顾。兴趣来时，一剑定胜负。这种彻骨的冷静和孤高，也正是天蝎人虽不招惹别人，却还是招致阴险有毒的恶名的根本。而，也只有天蝎自己知道，真正恶毒的其实是你！但是，一切也都没有用，要知道，能够忍受孤独的人，也就是最无所畏惧的人了。这也就是天蝎为什么可以在铺天盖地的恶名谣传里，依旧活出自己风格的原因。某个角度来说，才思横溢的天蝎人，正是从别人不切实际的攻击诽谤里，看到了自己与众不同的价值。因为，没有人会化很大的心血很多的精力，对一个平庸无常的人做太多的关注。显然，天蝎是别具一格的。我本善良，我本真实，这样的句子，用在天蝎身上是最恰当不过了。每只天蝎似乎从出生那天起，就注定要为自己的独特而历经许多风波。对于人性，天蝎从来看得比所有人透彻。　　可以说他们极端，但是，他们无法不真实地活出自己。也许，只有'曲高合寡'这四个字，才是孤独奇特的天蝎们最好的诠释。　　天蝎。星象书上说，诞生在深秋的蝎子是最复杂的。同意这句话。因为蝎子可以根据需要在具体环境把自己塑造成适合的角色，是个善于戴着面具生活的人。但内心本我的强大力量又让他们在某个时刻不由自主地显现出其蝎子冷酷阴郁的一面。几乎没有任何一个蝎子座的人可以逃避这点。因为，本质的东西，深植于骨髓，扎根于灵魂。　　这里，我希望通过自己的一点薄见，和大家一起认识这最复杂的蝎子。　　情感强烈是蝎子座的人最普遍的特点。我至今没有发现感情因子欠乏的蝎子。他们有着异常炽热的感情，但大多藏得较深，平时看来是个比较和气的人，一般不爆发，爆发时绝对是喷涌而出的，有着强大的震慑力。　　能促使蝎子爆发深藏的感情的事情其实并不多。我总结了三种情况。　　一是欺骗，这种欺骗也许不是很大，也许发生在很好的朋友甚至亲友之间，也许只是一桩小事，但蝎子看来，重要的不是欺骗造成了什么损失，而是欺骗这种行为本身，他认为这是强烈的不信任感，是对他的不尊重。一个小小的欺骗在蝎子的心中会激荡起巨大的不快，天性阴冷的蝎子习惯将它放大来看，也可以说这种与他们处事风格准则背道而弛的行为是他们轻蔑并排斥的。用欺骗伤害蝎子产生的裂痕一般是不容易消除的。当事人在蝎子心中的地位可以说马上会大幅下降。经观察，没有哪个星座的人象蝎子这样如此深地看重信任和尊重这两个词，他们一般对此都很敏感。敏感得容下不在他许可的小小范围内出现一粒沙。越是亲密关系间的欺骗对蝎子的伤害就越大。因为他们对朋友往往交出真心，而这种付出偿来的若是欺骗和背叛的话，蝎子的心会冷到极点。　　二是侮辱。敏感的蝎子其实并不那么开得起玩笑，当然他们能敏锐地分辨出你话里的真实含义，善意的玩笑他们还是不会拒绝的。但带刺的话他们绝对能马上听出，他能感受到你语气中的真实的感情成分。很自我的蝎子绝对不容忍别人侮辱他贬低他。也许一件事情让他糟糕，让他吃亏很大，但如果需要的话他能压抑住自己的情绪，装作若无其事。惟独侮辱不可以，你可以感受到蝎子那一刻表情越发阴冷，牙关紧闭。那是他在积蕴力量，你能感受得到他强压怒火的眼神，开始起伏的胸膛，只需要一个小小突破口，巨大的能量就要喷薄而出。这个时候，了解他们的人还是赶紧收口吧，否则谁都不知道会发生什么可怕的事情。我自己就经历过多次这样的情景，从来都是是猛烈的瞬间爆发，不明白的人奇怪怎么突然发这么大脾气，其实真实情况是，他忍着气已经很久很久了，只是你硬逼他爆发的。　　三是为了他认为重要的人。蝎子是活得孤独的人，他们自己都会发现，自己和许多人是格格不入的，他满脸的笑容很多时候都不是发自内心的，只是为了场合的需要，真正谈得来并懂得他们的朋友一般很少很少。生命中他重视的人他一定会倾力保护，蝎子为了保护那个人时，显现出的感情是强大的。这个人最大的可能就是曾在蝎子需要时给过真正理解温暖关爱的人。哪怕是一点点。象会记恨一样，蝎子对那些对他真心好的人绝对是记在心上的，没有太多的表面的东西，关键的时候，真正肯为你牺牲的那个朋友，肯定是他。对他最爱的那个人而言，蝎子有可能的话甚至肯为她去死。如果他心中的那个她被别人伤害的话，蝎子会有剜心的痛，这个时候，他可能会暴露出最阴暗的一面，如果要把报复和蝎子联系起来的话，那么这种情况当属第一。蝎子这时候可能会在巨痛的驱使下，用最黑暗的力量为她去复仇去摧毁敌人。在我看来，蝎子最最强烈感情表现出来的时候，应该就是他为了保护她的时候。水象之王的蝎子外表看来往往不那么强硬，甚至有点软弱，这是很多人对他们的印象，但了解他们的内心的人就会发现，他们是讨厌被指使的人。可以说，蝎子是吃软不吃硬的，平等对他的话，他便是个性子很好的人，要是想压制他，蝎子内心马上会排斥，并且潜意识里他们是很厌恶习惯对他们指手画脚的人的。他们心中多数是不服，但不会明显表现出来，也许暂时地顺着对方，背后则默默积累力量，也许干脆用冷漠直接表示拒绝和厌恶。蝎子确实是喜欢掌控别人的人，但不象火象的狮子那种气焰上统领一切的感觉，蝎子能用一种独特的暗藏的力量影响人，因为他有着洞穿别人内心的敏锐力和坚定沉静的气质。如果蝎子具备一些火象性格的话，则会是个让人感觉非常凌厉的人，冷静的外表下说起话做起事来霸气十足。蝎子如果学着性格张扬一点的话，会马上显现出强大的领导力。蝎子对自己的爱人也有着强烈的掌控欲，只有当那个她只对他一个人好的时候，他才感觉安心，他希望她能常陪在他身边，希望她能经常依靠他，所以小鸟依人般的温柔甜蜜的女孩子最能激起蝎子爱的感觉。这就解释了为什么他和水象的鱼儿和巨蟹很和得来的原因。蝎子比较喜欢不带表情的说话做事，可以说，蝎子很难学会用表情表达他们丰富的内心世界，他们是不善于利用表情的人。蝎子本质是不爱笑的，尤其不习惯在一大堆人之间肆无忌惮地笑，蝎子习惯浅浅地一笑，让他们在众人面前表情夸张地保持10秒钟我相信是件困难的事情。　　他们确实常给人缺乏亲和力的印象，哪怕是他已经认识到了这点并试着去改变了，结果还是会发现，一不留神，他和人的距离感又莫名地产生了。可以说蝎子的笑保留着人类某种原始的东西，蝎子笑起来会带着丝羞涩，特别是在人多或异性面前。看起来非常孩子气，让人感觉纯真，显得乖巧。但蝎子多笑真的比较重要，蝎子笑起来纯朴真诚的样子可以很好地打消他们在别人心中不好的印象。蝎子可以多对着镜子练习练习。敏感的蝎子有时会莫名地收住笑容，这会给别人不好的印象，他们会纳闷并猜想你突然沉下脸的原因，很多时候，蝎子和人的隔阂就是这么产生的。　　在蝎子的生命中总有一种向往孤独的特质。　　他们即使在受不了凄寂的同时，又渴望得到只有在孤独时才能享受到的自我极致发挥和无丝毫保留的面对现实。　　所以，孤独的蝎子是矛盾的。　　孤独中他们的心灵像眼睛，诚实敏锐得揉不进一粒尘沙。　　所以，孤独的蝎子更能洞悉谎言与人心。他们只有在孑然一身的时候，才有机会登上精神的高峰，望得远，看得清，障碍尽除，思维如月光染雪，剔透通明，理智与感情皆回归到最纯净的状态，能清楚的照亮自己。　　所以，孤独的蝎子睿智。　　当蝎子被身边的孤独包围的时候，他们的内心却是在释放。他们的身体和灵魂变成了过滤器，吸取着潮湿冰冷的空气，渗透出清澈甘甜的水滴，那就是他们的思想。思想无限流动，不受空间和时间的限制，抵达所有相通的灵魂。　　所以，当到达你的灵魂时，请你好好珍惜。　　当你看到陌生人面前孤僻而冷淡的蝎子时，请你见谅，因为即兴发挥不是蝎子的强项，蝎子一向预热很慢，感情需要很大的安全感才能活泼的施展。　　所以，当你想要了解那些外表形单影只，独来独往的蝎子时，请细心的感受他们内在活动的勃放如春。　　对于天蝎座的激情别人已经写得够多的了，以致再写就显得有点多余了。其实那些描述严格地来说，也不完全正确。天蝎座的人确实拥有过量的激情。但是这些热情不一定是用一种显而易见的方式来表达的。对于天蝎座的人来说，性是一种表达的途径，它是一种达到秩序的方法，而不仅仅是肉体上激情的释放。　　天蝎座对性和爱的渴望，通常与它们能提供的转变有关。他们喜欢把性与爱称作自己所喜欢的名字：一次神秘的经历、一次深层次的体会。性与爱让天蝎座向比他们自己更强大的事物投降。天蝎座的伴侣有一种巨大的容忍力，他们为了爱情和忠贞可以牺牲一切。他们甚至可以做出巨大的自我牺牲。在他们身上有一点狂热，这会渗透到他们与别人建立的关系中，并且影响他们的精神和态度。

End of ATEC

2010-06-25T22:21:00.002+08:00

Finally, after months of training and preparation, ATEC Stage 2 has come to a close. There's no news on how well my unit has performed, but the completion of this daunting evaluation is a relief to everyone.

I am, of course, not going to divulge too much details on the actual event. What I'm going to comment on is about management and leadership capabilities that could be applicable in the working world.

Disclaimer: This is not a personal attack whatsoever, it is only my personal opinion on how things are carried out.

Basically, as the logistics officer's signaller, I get to see how logistics-related activities are done outfield. There are many things that my boss needs to look after, and that proves to be a challenge when your subordinates too have other things to complete other than logistics-based activities. It is quite sad to see that even on the evaluation, everyone was still doing their own things and there was a lack of central command, which made consolidation of information very difficult.

I think it is important that a boss needs to be fully aware of what your subordinates are doing, so that your instructions passed down would not be difficult or troublesome to follow. Also, it is important to have a central command and control system for better information facilitation. Short and concise briefings on what to do before each project/mission are also crucial.

Try putting the above into a corporate world perspective. (It may difficult for those who haven't stepped into army, but do try.) I think it's really all about management skills and how informations is spread both upwards and downwards on the hierarchy. How you manage your staff will determine how your staff function as a whole. And this type of skills does not come with studying theories from the book, it comes with practice and more practice. And finally, understanding each others' jobscope will make things much easier for everyone.

That said, I'm glad ATEC is over. Now it's time to take a break, and get back to my civilian life. Some people call is Civilian Conversion Course (CCC). Whatever it is called, I've got scholarships and colleges to apply to, things to study, a new camera to explore, an overseas trip to plan...the list never ends. I guess being busy makes one's life more fulfilling.

Till then.

hiatus

2010-06-13T20:56:00.002+08:00

it has been quite some time since i last posted. there's a lot to do, and blogging, well, has taken a back seat.

many things have happened, mostly good, and i'm happy at where i am now. i guess you need to let go off things before you could realise if they really do belong to you. Grabbing too hard would only cause pain on both sides...

It's atec stage 2 in 2 weeks time, and then it will be low period, I hope. Then I will have more time for my own things, which include playing around with my newly bought Olympus E-P1. =)

Till then.

back to camp.

2010-05-16T19:30:00.002+08:00

after a good one week break, it's back to camp. i've done everything that i wanted to do (except for reading), and sorted out my thoughts. of course there are certain things which i probably won't figure out till i grow much older...but still, it's better than nothing.

i hope next week will be a good one...it's office politics at it's max. it's not that i'm involved in it, but i guess i will suffer the repurcussions.

whatever it is, i'm only nsf. all these shouldn't concern me.

Singapore's Bilingual Policy - a success?

2010-05-12T14:46:00.002+08:00

PM Lee announced yesterday that there will not be a cut in the weightage of mother tongue in PSLE. However, he indicated that there will be a change in teaching methods and the format of examinations.

I am glad that MOE has decided against any tweak in their policy. For one, any decrease in weightage of mother tongue in the PSLE, whether or not with good intentions, will send out a wrong message, leading to an impact that may be irreversible.

The recent comments by Minister of Education Dr Ng Eng Hen sparked a heated debate among various groups, with a fine divide between the English-speaking and Chinese-speaking families. Another group worth taking note of consists of foreigners or Eurasians who have picked up Chinese as their mother tongue for numerous reasons. I think this debate is a good reflection upon ourselves - the divide that has and will always exist between the English and Chinese speaking families, the purpose of learning mother tongue, and most importantly the purpose of education.

Many years ago, when the Singapore government decided to use English as the main medium for communication and teaching, the Chinese speaking, who were the majority, suffered. The switch was a painful one for the Chinese speaking, failures were aplenty but they dealt with it and they moved on. Today, the number of English speaking families has increased significantly. With the rise of China, many deem the learning of the Chinese language as important, if not necessary. This time round it is the English speaking who suffer; they have not been exposed to the language before, and so learning it from scratch in school is a difficult process. Being the educated and vocal lot, they have made feedback through various channels. The MOE, seeing their point, has made several changes to the teaching of mother tongue, which included the introduction of MTL B. With the comments by Dr Ng, some of them even suggested that the weightage of MTL be cut in PSLE, giving the below arguments: many of those who do well in other subjects but don't do well in MTL (Chinese especially) end up in the normal stream and eventually lose their place in local universities. Those who are able to afford will study overseas, which results in a loss in talent and most choose not to come back; those who are unable to afford will just have to make do with ITE, which is, in their opinion, a talent wasted.

I hope the above summary is not overly biased. I come from a Chinese speaking family, but with the correct exposure and learning attitude, I have done relatively well in my English papers ( As for PSLE and O Levels, B for GP). Is English easier to master than Chinese? Not necessarily so. What frustrates me is the constant use of excuses to 'explain' the children's inability to do well in Chinese during PSLE. The parents claim that Chinese is a difficult subject, with alot of memory work. The constant tuition, spelling and dictation has caused the children to dislike or even hate Chinese, and so they fail to perform. Then, may I ask these parents, are subjects like science and math not difficult to learn? Were these problems not faced by the Chinese speaking back then when the switch to English as the medium for teaching was implemented?

The answer to these questions is simple. In the past, education was a privilege. Today, it is a given. Children nowadays are spoilt. They do not understand fully that it does not take only luck or talent to do well in examinations (or even success); hard work is needed too. When they face adversitites or difficulties in learning, they complain. And parents, being overprotective, will voice their opinions to a higher authority, calling for change. For it is in their belief that no matter how fast China rises, Chinese is not as important as the other subjects like science and math, and so less time should be spent on it. And we end up where we are today.

Indeed, as MM Lee has admitted, our bilingual policy is not perfect. However, it does give the racial groups a sense of importance and belonging in the country, that their language is still being recognized by the country. To say that learning Chinese will be useful to our children as they can better communicate with their counterparts from China is superficial, for how many will really do business with the Chinese? To say that learning Chinese (or MTL) will allow us to better appreciate our own culture is perhaps too complex for practical Singaporeans to understand. However, what the learning of Chinese, or MTL for that matter, could really do, is to act as a stepping platform for those from the middle or lower income groups (they are majority Chinese speaking) who do well in MTL but not as well in the other subjects to enter good secondary schools and unleash their potential. Yes, talent is lost because of some who don't do well in Chinese, but we must not forget the talent that is 'found' because of some who have both good Chinese foundations budding potentials.

At the end of the day, I think it still boils down to the purpose of education in Singapore. Singaporeans are a practical lot; the education system has evolved to one that is more concerned with clearing objectives than about learning per se. We only value subjects that are important and neglect those which are not. While our fellow friends in Taiwan are learning about their own culture and other interesting facts about life, we are more concerned with clearing examinations and the PSLE. Someone once said, education is that remains after one has forgotten everything one learned in school. So what has education in Singapore achieved, apart from paper qualifications?

lost.

2010-05-10T10:38:00.003+08:00

i realised i haven't updated for quite some time. the past few weeks have been quite rushed, i was basically doing whatever that came along. i had no game plan, no focus, no nothing. i ended up splashing into puddle after puddle...with nothing achieved.

i specially chose to extract my wisdom tooth on sunday, so that i had the entire week to myself. i felt the need to take a step back, and think carefully about the things i want to do and achieve in the short term.

a post from a blog i frequent caught me thinking. i read quite a fair bit, i understand about 70-80 percent of the author's arguments, and i think through the arguments. however, i am guilty of not mulling through the points enough; more often that not i read the book too quickly to fully comprehend the message behind the book.

i guess that has to change. To any piece of work, a lack of understanding is a failure to appreciate the author's efforts. To misunderstand a work's intention without putting thought into it could be well termed as an insult. Before i start to stock up on books again, i guess i need to re-read some of them to gain deeper understanding of them. and this will serve as a timely reminder to not be led around by opinions, but to form a point of view on whatever issues that one may come across.

to extend this further, such a concept doesn't only apply only to appreciation of other's works. without a point of view, you won't know where you are going, and without knowing where you are going, you will just lose your way and not achieve anything. which was what happened to me.

moving on, to be safe, i've come up with a to-do list for this week.

1) think through my friend's advice, and decide on my next course of action

2) a post on reducing the weightage of mother tongue in PSLE

3) read

4) watch a movie

5) pack up my room

6) design my future room

6) relax and chill!

after thoughts...

2010-04-27T19:50:00.002+08:00

张帝大哥说过，机会是给准备好的人的。
或许，我还没准备好吧。。。

yeah, that's what i think.

i have been rejected by both MAS and GIC.

I spent a couple of minutes reflecting. i guess i wasn't really prepared for it. i won't put the blame on how late i received the question that i had to present on, neither will i blame it on the busy schedule i have in camp. i guess the main reason was that i wasn't mentally prepared, and i didn't comprehend fully how important the interview was, so i wasn't on my best performance.

i guess it's i took a step back, and carefully consider my next move. in the short term, how to significantly reduce my work load in camp. in the medium term, what qualifications i could go for, and which specific areas of study i can dwell into. in the long term, to be darn sure of which university to go and my career path.

this post will be a good reflection come this june, and hopefully i can come up with a good game plan.

right now, after my SAT, i just want to clear the hurdle in camp, before i make my next move.

GIC Scholarship

2010-04-20T20:41:00.002+08:00

i went for the third round of interviews for the GIC scholarship. it was a day of activities, starting with an individual presentation (my question was: which asset class do you prefer to invest your money in - stocks or bonds?), a talk with one of the senior officers, and finally a group project and presentation (if you had S$100,000 and hope to double the amount in a span of 10 years, which asset classes, gold, property, currency, stocks and bonds, would you invest in?

they aren't exactly very difficult questions, but they require some fundamental knowledge in the finance sector, and force you to think from the point of view of an investor. And you realise that there are many considerations when you construct a portfolio, and being flexible isn't the simple way out. you need to have a robust enough portfolio to withstand some risk and uncertainty. it may be a long day, but definitely a very informative and enriching one.

there were 9 other candidates other than myself, with 6 from rjc, 2 from hci and 1 from an international school in penang. yes, i am the only one from njc, and the only one from a middle-income family. i begin to wonder what is the true message behind the award of a scholarship...

personal bias aside, today has made me believe even further that upbringing can substantially affect one's mentality. being rich and well to do (nothing against that of course), they are more willing to take more risks when it comes to investment, and think that any money lost could be earned, especially when we are young and full of potential. i think otherwise. while it is fine to take certain amount of risks, i think that we should be more prudent and maybe a little more conservative when money is involved, for money is hard-earned. if we do not uphold the importance of money, losing money in investments would probably mean nothing and no painful lessons would be learned, unless the crash is on a massive scale.

food for thought.

a well deserved break?

2010-04-11T15:53:00.002+08:00

finally, after one week of interviews and nonsense in camp, i get a 4 day break. it's a proper break after i came back from india and before the start of tons of outfield, so i'm cherishing every moment of it.

well, i was upset by an argument made by one of my superiors. it involved me directly of course, otherwise i wouldn't even bother. i'm just upset at the fact that in general, people are selfish and only care for their own interests. Of course, like I've said, this is a generalisation, but it applies to most people. I'm sick and tired of being the nice guy, and saying yes to everyone, when almost hardly anyone says yes to me.

Whatever I'm going to do in the next few days may turn me into the baddest guy on earth, but I'm not going to care anymore. If they don't give me a break, I won't give them a break either. Period.

india 2010

2010-04-01T20:53:00.003+08:00

yes, i just returned from india, which explains the lack of posts in recent weeks.

india, i must say, is an amazing country. it has one of the world's fastest developing economy, and definitely has more potential for more. it has thousands of years of history behind it, and is the birthplace of 2 major religions, and is under the influence of many more. even though my trip was a short 18 days, i have already so much to tell...

let's start with the toilet experience i had at indira ghandi international airport, delhi. i entered the toilet after collecting my kit bag, only to find a young man following me to the urinal, then to the wash basin to offer me soap and napkins to dry my hands. i was caught back by surprise (i really wasn't expecting things that i read in books to happen), and so i rejected him, rather rudely i would say. it dawned upon me much later that he was only doing his job, in hope of a generous tip from a tourist, which of course never happened.

then journey from delhi to the camp. a 5 hour train ride and a 1 hour bus ride wasn't that pleasant an experience, but it wasn't as bad as expected either. the train ride was actually quite comfortable, probably five stars in their standards. along the way i saw slums, and many wide stretches of land that are essentially untouched. and i wonder how huge the world actually is.

the actual training. my commanders told me that the accomodation and food in BABINA camp is actually good, much better if you were to compare it to Wallaby. It sure was, with pretty comfy beds and all bunks fitted with a desert fan that was quite effective in cooling the room when it gets unbearably hot in the afternoon. But still, there were instances where you felt that you were thrown back to basics. Blackouts were frequent, and there were times there was no water to wash or shower in. In many parts of India, water is still drawn out from wells. And so in camp, apart from potable water, they actually fill up water drums with water meant for washing on a regular basis. The drums aren't exactly that huge, and so they were times when water just ran out. I guess the experience made me cherish water and electricity, something so necessary yet basic, more than I ever did.

Going outfield was like visiting the safari. They were cows, buffalos along streams of water (that was rare though), shepherds herding their goats, sheep (they come in three types: white sheep, black sheep, and white sheep with black faces) and peacocks. A friend of mine actually saw an animal with the head of a goat and body of a horse, or something like that. Cloudless skies, land that stretched through the horizon, beautiful sunsets, starry nights...There was really nothing more you could ask for. That kind of impact that the place had on me...it was something i haven't felt for a very long time.

Moving on to the tour, the Taj Mahal was certainly food for the soul. I wouldn't elaborate more, it is one of the must-see places in the world. Very beautiful indeed.

Along the way, there was much to see. Traffic seemed to flow even without traffic lights, horns were more of courtesy and acknowledgement than rudeness. I realised that other than their railway system (that i suppose the British left behind), India's transport system isn't very developed. There were no proper expressways or freeways, the roads seemed to stretch on and on, passing by towns and cities along the way. The Indira Ghandi International Airport (Terminal 2) only had 10 gates; passengers had to wait for the aircraft to taxi before they could board. The Metro in Delhi is only in its early stages of construction, and whatever you saw on TV about the train and bus services are true. There is definitely much more room for growth in the sector.

If you were to compare India with the other rapidly developing country in the world, China, you would realise that there are key differences. I would say that China's development is more structured, with cities developing much faster than the rural areas. However, in India, things are abit more balanced. You could find posh buildings and shopping malls situated just hundreds of metres away from slums and tentages. There was no structure in the development of cities, even in New Delhi. Cows roamed the streets, people did whatever they wanted along the streets (that includes answering nature's call); it really could get quite messy. Children ran around asking for food, money, or selling anything they could lay their hands on. It is not up to me to say which form is better, but looking at how the people struggled with poverty pained me.

I wish I could do something substantial for them, but I realise there was hardly anything I could do. I felt not only their poverty, but their helplessness. As I passed by street after street, I realised that poverty is something that is inherent in all economies, and is something that will stay in time to come. It also dawned upon me that lifting people out of poverty is really a noble task.

Maybe life is unfair. All are born equal, but why some enjoy life more than others?

This trip to India is definitely an eye-opener for me. For one, it made me realise how vast the world is. We shouldn't be sitting in front of the computer all day...Find time, save some money, and wander into the different parts of the world. For you never know when you could discover something you never once knew...

2010-03-13T11:15:00.002+08:00

i've been rather busy lately, which explains the lack of updates. i have changed my mind over certain matters, and have been working hard to achieve my newly made decisions. I hope to be able to complete everything before i fly off to india tomorrow...or i should say i have to complete them.

anyway, it has been great fun catching up with friends. went out with various people last week and yesterday. I hope there are more opportunities to do so when i return from india...

and so, incredible india, here i come! =)

2010-02-28T20:16:00.001+08:00

busy busy busy.

2010-02-21T20:05:00.002+08:00

If you are brave to say "good bye", life will reward you with a new "hello"

Si eres valiente para decir "adiós", la vida te recompensará con un nuevo "hola" - Paulo Coelho

cny

2010-02-21T15:16:00.002+08:00

this year's cny is definitely one of the worst that i've been through. the mere thought of it makes me feel sick, so i'm not going to describe it in detail here...

to make things worse, i failed my first driving test. well, lack of experience and familiarity of the circuit, coupled with bad traffic conditions were reasons for the failure. i hope i will pass the second time i take the test.

i've been going out alot, and have fairly little time with myself throughout this week. i guess i really need some time alone...and to think through the options that i have.

and so, i'm still contemplating, which step should i take next?

新年快乐

2010-02-13T19:28:00.000+08:00

以前的除夕之夜，都是热热闹闹地度过。而今年的团圆饭，却只有五个人。我想接下来的团圆饭，都应该是这样的吧。

祝大家新年快乐，万事如意。

Home

2010-02-12T21:39:00.003+08:00

Home by Michael Buble

Another summer day

Has come and gone away

In Paris and Rome

But I wanna go home

Hmmm...

May be surrounded by

A million people I

Still feel all alone

I just wanna go home

Oh, I miss you, you know

And I'ved been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you

Each one a line or two

I'm fine baby, how are you?”

I would send them but I know

That it's just not enough

My words were cold and flat

And you deserve more than that

Another airplane

Another sunny place

I'm lucky and I know

But I wanna go home

I gotta go home

Let me go home

Cause I'm just too far from where you are

I wanna come home

And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life

It's like I just stepped outside

When everything was going right

And I know just why

You could not come along with me

Cause this was not your dream

But you always believed in me

Another winter day

Has come and gone away

In either Paris and Rome

And I wanna go home

I said, let me go home

And I'm surrounded by

A million people I

Still feel all alone

Let me go home

God, I miss you, you know

Let me go home

I've had my run

Baby, I'm doneI gotta go home

Let me go home

'Cause It'll be all right

And I'll be home tonight

I'm coming back home.

cny.

2010-02-11T20:50:00.002+08:00

it was a relatively peaceful week, with the exception of the guard duty issue. it involved lots of backstabbing, and lack of responsibility of the commanders. this time round i decided i would not lay my hands on the issue, and let them quarrel all they want.

sometimes, i suppose it's more important to be true to yourself than to let what others say affect you. i quote myself as an example. i stay in the office to keep myself occupied, so that i won't get bored and start thinking of nonsense. and tongues have been wagging since, especially with my promotion to the rank of a corporal. initially i was quite affected; i wonder why i work so hard for my branch when they are not appreciative. i even spoke to my superior if i could get an appointment in another branch, so that i had a fixed job scope. (i was rejected, of course.) but after a talk with a fellow platoon mate, i realise that it really isn't important what others say about you. you set your goal, you take steps to reach your goal, and of course if your conscience is clear, there should be almost nothing that should affect you.

i do hope for the better in camp, that's for sure. it's not worth trying so hard, so i'm doing just enough to keep myself occupied.

as for my friends, or ex-friends, well...it's going to be someone's birthday soon, and yet there's nothing i can do this year. something that i used to call 'tradition' is going to be broken soon.

chinese new year's around the corner. but i really don't feel anything at all. the visiting and stuff is beginning to put me off, and i really hope it will pass real soon, so that i can enjoy my block leave.

a question asked by another of my platoon mate: 'is the singapore government doing enough to help the poor, and improve the quality of life of its citizens?'

maybe some of that when i'm free.

sucks to be you!

2010-02-06T11:45:00.003+08:00

it was great catching up with a good friend yesterday night. it was supposed to be a birthday celebration, but there was no cake, no present, only accompaniment in its purest sense. and i guess that's the most important thing between friends and/or boy and girl friends. being able to spend quality time is the best thing that could happen, really.

we talked about many things, ranging from his china trip to what happened in camp recently...and we came to realise the importance of having good relations and a broad network of links. in the working world, it doesn't matter what you do, if you have the right people around you, things can be done fast. and coupled with the correct environment and opportunities, you could very well succeed.

i have been contemplating whether i should pick up certain things i left off previously. yes, i do forgive people because i still want them in my life (yeah, this is quoted from facebook -.-), but sometimes it's not just about forgiving people. you need to know what the other party feels. and so communication is important, if not crucial.

sometimes, it really isn't that bad a thing to let go of something or someone.

when it comes to working, or even to relationships, it's more of how much responsibilities you want to take and how much you want to commit yourself into doing the work. it may be your career, or just a forced job like in ns, and there's work in front of you. you could choose to do it well, or do a half-fked job, or not do it all. because if you don't do it, there would be someone else who would eventually. it's all up to you. this decision, of course, is based on your work ethics and your personal qualities. and maybe your desire to get promoted. =/

and so to those concerned, blame on it your luck for having commanders who only do work to cover their asses. blame it on your luck for having commanders who rather cover their own asses than to protect their men. and finally, don't make your problem mine, for i'm not a commander. there's only this much i could do, and everyone is making me feel like not working anymore.

and thanks bro, for that great meal last night. cheers!

tough.

2010-01-31T23:42:00.002+08:00

as the days go by, i find that i'm starting to lose myself. i'm beginning to say only certain things about someone in front of certain people...it's tough to find someone whom you can be candid and just say things without having to think of the repercussions.

and i'm beginning to question the things that i do in camp. are they actually worth my effort? i suppose people there just do not know me well enough, or i'm just a convenient scapegoat. why else would i be the prime suspect of something which i will never do?

days in camp are getting longer and more difficult to pass, and sometimes i feel that my patience is wearing so thin it can tear any moment. i feel like i'm only someone whom people will approach when something needs to be done; other times i'm just pretty much non-existent. or maybe existent to bring laughter to everyone except myself. it's beginning to get unbearable...it just gets more and more difficult to bear each day.

yet there are people who make my day, i am fortunate to know them by person but not fortunate enough to be working in their branch. i believe tongues will start to wag very soon - for me hanging out with their branch too often...when can i ever get the freedom that i want in camp? when would i stop being under the scrutiny of so many people?

and the group of people that could actually be my friends...who knows if i will still meet them after i step out of this camp? maybe we will never meet. or maybe we will, but as strangers. or maybe our relationship never extended beyond that of working partners.

who knows? only time will tell.

tada.

2010-01-24T00:30:00.002+08:00

the previous week was really kinda boring, with nothing much to do. really have to find things to do to occupy my otherwise malfunctioning brain...

on friday though, went out with 3 other friends. timbre is really a great place to chill, great music and great pizza. the roast duck pizza is a must try. will definitely go there again.

today however, was spent alone. not that i didn't enjoy it, but when i had that few quiet moments with myself, i tend to reflect alot. and i realise that i'm really lost, and unsure of what to do. i'm really not sure how long more i can last at my current state (and that includes working for my branch), and what to expect next when circumstances finally do change. regardless, catching a movie and doing cny shoppping did help abit.

speaking of movies, 'the blind side' isn't that good. it's just not touching enough i suppose. i guess i will give 'it's complicated' a miss for now, the next one that i will catch should be 'valentine's day'...i hope i didn't get the title wrong.

been watching alot of travel shows, and i guess i learnt that it is important that you follow your dream. and so, i've roughly planned out my travel plans for the next two years, and will probably start to research on the countries soon. whether or not i go alone doesn't really matter anymore. what is important is that i'm willing to take the first step...

gosh, i'm beginning to have second thoughts on a few of my resoultions made earlier this year. i hope i did the right thing...for i no longer trust anyone that i meet now. or maybe, just maybe, there would be exceptions.

holiday plans

2010-01-23T11:45:00.002+08:00

okays. here are my holiday plans for 2010-2011.

1. July 2010: Beach vacation at Tioman/Redang

2. Nov/Dec 2010: Backpacking at Taiwan/Korea/Australia

3. June 2011: Backpacking at Eastern Europe/Canada

sounds great to me. lol.

duh.

2010-01-17T19:46:00.000+08:00

messed up, everything is just messed up.

tell me what to do.

screwed up weekend? lolx.

2010-01-10T18:31:00.002+08:00

this week is the last of my 4 day week...which is kinda sad, really. on a lighter note, i'm 10months to ord!!!

friday wasn't that bad...just that fewer people than expected turned up. went for a movie shortly after. Did you hear about the morgans ain't that good, it's not as funny and not that touching. i preferred the proposal.

yesterday was an utter joke. Went to a play produced by my bmt mate walter and starred my classically handsome section mate maohui. the play was made up of, well, 3 short plays. the first one was so well done i did something really embarrassing....and made myself a living joke. the second was fine, and the third was interesting. difficult to understand but very thought-provoking. it's about how you know you could stop doing something but you still continue doing it again and again...i interpreted it slightly differently though. thought of something like a frame, a frame that you could never escape...

it was definitely a play well done by them, and i wish i could watch it again. this time without my addition of course. -.-

if you have read about the recent holloywood showdown on SLE on christmas, yea, i know that guy. haha.

ok...that's about it.

dinner.

confesions of 2009

2010-01-03T00:45:00.002+08:00

for the fun of it.

(x) stayed single for the whole year

( ) made out in/on a car

( ) kissed in the snow

( ) celebrated Halloween

( ) kissed in the rain

(x) had your heart broken

( ) broke someone else’s heart

( ) had a stalker

( ) went over the minutes on your cell phone

(x) had a good relationship with someone (the broader form of relationship...)

( ) someone questioned your sexual orientation

( ) gotten pregnant

( ) had an abortion

( ) had a relationship with someone you’ll never forget

(x) done something you’ve regretted

(x) lost faith in love

( ) kissed under a mistletoe

OTHER
(x) painted a picture
( ) wrote a poem
(x) ran a mile
( ) shopped at Hollister or Abercrombie & Fitch
(x) posted on a blog
(x) listened to music you couldn’t stand
(x) went to a sleepover
( ) went camping
( ) threw a surprise party
(x) laughed till you cried
( ) laughed till you peed in your pants
(x) visited a foreign country
(x) cut in a line of waiting people
(x) told someone you were busy when you weren’t
(x) partied to celebrate the new year
( ) cooked a disastrous meal
(x) lost something/someone important to you

In 2009 I…
(x) broke a promise
(x) lied
( ) went behind your parents back
(x) cried over a broken heart
( ) disappointed someone close
(x) hid a secret
(x) pretended to be happy
(x) slept under the stars
(x) kept your new years resolution (think I did...)
( ) forgot your new years resolution
(x) met someone who changed your life

( ) met one of your idols

(x) changed your outlook on life

(x) sat home all day doing nothing

(x) pretended to be sick

(x) left the country

( ) almost died

(x) given up something important to you

( ) lost something expensive

(x) learned something new about yourself

(x) tried something you normally wouldn’t try and liked it

(x) made a change in your life

(x) found out who your true friends were
(x) met great awesome people
(x) stayed up til sunrise
(x) cried over the silliest thing
( ) was never home on weekends
( ) got into a car accident
(x) had friends who were drifting away from you
( ) had someone close to you die
( ) had a high cell phone bill
( ) spent most of your money on food
( ) had a fist fight
( ) went to the beach with your bf/gf
( ) saw a celebrity

(x) gotten sick
( ) liked more than 5 people at the same time
( ) became closer with a lot of people

2010!

2010-01-02T00:05:00.003+08:00

the previous post was largely on the previous year...i guess i would want to do a bit of new year resolution for 2010, especially when it's the start of a new decade.

1. Read more. I never realised that I actually do enjoy reading, especially good literary works. I guess it's the hidden part of me that was buried when I gave up literature after my 'O' levels. I've read quite abit last year, and I hope to continue this habit since I do have the luxury of time in camp...I will stick to the old pattern, alternating between fiction and non-fiction. I may pick up history books again too...another of my un-kindled passions.

2. Take things easy. Last year I saw alot of bad things happen, and I realise alot of times I have no control over them. It upsets me that the relationships that I hold are not working very well, and I have to tell white lies to please others. After putting much thought, I realise that certain things are just not meant to be. If it doesn't belong to you, it doesn't serve any purpose to hold on to it tightly. Maybe letting it go may improve the situation... Take things easy, and things may just turn out well. (That, of course, requires me to be less soft-hearted...)

3. Relax more, enjoy life as it is. Last year I came to know a group of people from different backgrounds. They may not be the most intelligent or intellectual people around, but they are indeed a group of amazing people whom i have and am still learning alot from. And the most important thing is to relax and enjoy life more, and keep my depression level to the minimum. I guess I'm more willing to try new things, and not restrict myself to the usual things that I do. I'm also getting better at dealing with my depression, I guess what's most important is to just stay cool.

4. Cherish the people around me. 2 years ago I saw the demise of my beloved grandmother, and I saw, right in front of my very eyes, how fragile life is. I may not have a very large social circle, but I do have good friends that I really do value. I hope that I will make a better attempt to meet up and catch up with them. People say that it gets more difficult to forge strong friendships as one grows older. This is an undeniable fact, and that is why I think I should cherish the people whom i can work well and get along with now. This includes many from the platoon i'm currently in. hopefully our relationship remains amicable and we will still meet up in the many years to come.

that's about it for now...

have a fantastic year ahead. =)

time for new year resolution?

2009-12-30T22:14:00.005+08:00

as 2009 comes to a close, it's time to take a last glimpse of the major events that happened and think of how to welcome the new year!

2009 hasn't been the best year for me, it's the year i enlisted, received my A level results, got myself injured, went for a surgery and when my family fell apart. of course, i made new friends, learned alot along the way...

ok, i should stop whining. at long last, photos. photos that are...memorable? haha.

these are taken immediately after my surgery. it's really exaggerating. 6 stitches and it's wrapped up like some pig trotter.

and...a few days later.

damn swollen eh? it's amazing how the body functions...

of course the swell is now gone, but the recovery ain't that fantastic. still, it's better than nothing.
that was in late july. along the way i made many decisions, some of which i'm very determined to adhere to. i will take that as my new year resolution.

anyway, just this monday, i decided to have 2 tattoos printed on my neck and wrist respectively. of course they are temporary, but it is something i always wanted to do. sometimes, it's good that you do something crazy, it gives you the feeling that you are actually still living in this world.

here are the pictures...

it's not that bad la. pretty ok for 15bucks.

just last week i watched an episode of 'world so big', and it was a very inspiring one indeed. it is important that you are doing something that you really wanna do, and not for money or other materialistic reasons.

ok, new year resolution. i will keep it simple i guess...not be so soft-hearted, read more, keep things easy and simple, relax more...that's about it?

i yearn for a simple and happy life. and that's the difficult part.

an advanced happy new year everyone. =)

procrastination

2009-12-27T21:39:00.002+08:00

i've been lazing around alot, which explains the lack of updates here.

so, let's begin.

monday was live range. i guess i broke saf's record, i went back and did the range despite being sick and all. the range went on pretty smoothly, with the exceptions of a few hiccups along the way thanks to the range warden. what was amusing was my atp shoot. the InAD and night shoot wasn't that bad, but i totally screwed up the day shoot. out of a total of 16 shots, the scores for my first 3 attempts were 7, 4 and 3 respectively. to place it simply, it's because of my weak ankle...and by the time it was my last shoot, i had 3 officers behind me when i was shooting. -.-. and by the time it was the night shoot, my S4 knows my name by heart. in the end, i was so tired that i just fell backwards after the last shot of the squatting/kneeling. that was the night shoot of course.

still, the entire experience was quite fun, and i really need to thank zheng ming for helping me out with the scoring and detailing during the night. now that it ended smoothly, everybody is happy. =)

tuesday and wednesday were sleep-in-bunk days, and thursday (yeah, christmas eve) was the battalion amazing race. the logistics part was kinda screwed up, but still we survived it.

and christmas! well, i was never a christmas person, but this year i received one of the best presents ever. cheers to the person who gave me that wonderful, wonderful present. =)

christmas was spent in camp, half the time asleep of course.

i tried my best to settle many unresolved matters, and i hope things will make a turn for the better. and for the newly commissioned officers who are posted to my unit/company (one of them is my bmt platoon mate, and the other being my jc council vice president), good luck. =)

that's all for the moment...thinking issues for next year, i hope.

end of the year

2009-12-19T20:05:00.003+08:00

i've officially one more week before the battalion block leave starts, and i can really, really relax.

looking back at this year, hasn't been a very meaningful one. more bad things than good things happened, the worst being the damn-ed unrecovered ankle that i have even after the surgery. but i guess time is or will be the best medicine for all illnesses; things will be fine after a while.

in the short 4 months in my current platoon after the surgery, i was involved in 4 major projects - live range 1, atec stage 1, LAB audit check, live range 2. in these projects, i was fortunate enough to be able to work with my platoon commander, platoon sergeant, signal warrant and DYS1 respectively. all projects were high intensity and stressful ones, but i have definitely learnt alot from all 4 commanders, and I now better understand how the SAF and the semi-working world (note the word semi) function. There is never a true bad guy, but different ways of functioning as a person and as a group.

my final project, live range 2, will come to a close (i hope) this monday when it is conducted in SAFTI live range. working with DYS1 has been the most comfortable and enjoyable for me....but of course, i wouldn't want to do the range thing over again.

sometimes i wonder, why am i working so hard for a place that is not worth my effort. this is not the first time i'm making such a 'mistake'. why else am i doing this again?

as for my personal life, things are still the same i guess...i hope time will improve everything.

a proper post?

2009-12-13T15:48:00.002+08:00

i've been busy going out and doing things which really doesn't matter till i've pretty much neglected this blog. not as if many people read it anyway.

there were alot of things i wanted to blog about, but I end up forgetting about them after a couple of days. and this post is going to be an empty one again...

gosh, i can't even remember what i did on friday.

i don't know what's wrong with me and my life. it has been tough decisions after tough decisions, mess after mess.

that should not be the way.

posting from camp

2009-12-07T14:21:00.002+08:00

i'm taking a big risk by blogging from camp, but that's because i've been too busy to update despite my long weekend.

had an enjoyable friday at ubin, fortunately i didn't fall while going downhill with a bike without brakes. took some pictures, but patrick lost his phone...still, it was fun. food for the soul. haha.

the weekend was kinda wasted away, with the freaking itunes still left unsettled. i wonder how long it will take.

well, supposed to be writing some commentary on bilingualism this week, but my brain just can't function in camp....it's just stoning away again.

till then.

super short week.

2009-11-24T22:18:00.002+08:00

it's a super short week...2 days to be exact. no choice, forced to clear off...so i've the next few days to explore Singapore....alone. =)

sometimes i wonder what is wrong with myself...there's so many things left unsettled, and they are ultra screwed up as it is. every 2-3 weeks i will feel like a piece of shit, and wish that things around me were better. but upon reflection it is me making the same mistakes over and over again, and it is the mistakes that i make that result in the same reaction that i get from people around me.

why can't i just change? who will like the current me?

then again, what is the true me? i'm lost, like never before.

should i change so that others can better accept me, or be the real me? or should i try to compromise between the two, if it is ever possible?

and i will continue to do the things i used to do for others, till eternity.

oh gosh. when will i ever, ever change?

long week.

2009-11-21T23:54:00.003+08:00

it has been a relatively long week, with the audit check on monday and tuesday. it didn't help much that i fell sick on wednesday and suffered a headache for 3 days in a row. still, the week ended...with practically nothing for me to do.

isn't life ironic. when you are busy, you wished you had a break. when you really have nothing on your hands, you wished you were slightly busier.

at least it applies for my case.

regardless, life has to go on. i'm just trying to enjoy such a relaxed life. a life which requires no need for perfection...

suddenly my interest in music has been reignited...but there is not enough time. is ns worth such a big sacrifice?

i'm tired. give me a break, will you?

first driving lesson.

2009-11-15T19:54:00.002+08:00

after a month plus of procrastination, i finally embarked on my driving lessons.

basically i only did turning left and right today...but that's enough to make me feel that driving is going to be a fun and exciting experience. haha. till the day i get my driving license...

_____________________________________________________________________________________

after a long week in camp and all the complications i face at home, i need a platform to express my innermost thoughts. but fairly recently, i finally learnt what it means to take things easy. yes, my perfectionist attitude has brought me to where i am today, but i paid a heavy price. total non-involvement in gaming has resulted in a lack of topic of conversation among friends; growing up in a competitive environment has resulted in relatively few people whom i can chill and hang out with. friends are either overseas, busy, or cannot be bothered at all.

even a simple coffee-stirring session can be quite enjoyable.

of course, it's not fair for me to blame anyone, that's how my life was made to be. or you could say that's how i made my life to be. and because of this, i tend to get overly attached to certain groups of people at every stage of my life. at the end of the day, when that stage comes to a close and the characters leave, i'm the one who has to struggle to move on. if i had known what it is like to take things easy, i probably would have better transitions along the way.

now that i finally understand this concept of 'taking it easy', all i need to do is to allow myself to adopt such a attitude towards certain aspects of life. it's a daunting task, and who knows how long i need. but i will try, for i need to move on.

thanks to the person who allowed me to gain enlightenment on this issue. =)

19.

2009-11-14T23:55:00.002+08:00

finally, i'm one year older.

and one year wiser.

I was busy the last week preparing for the audit, but was fortunate to get the day off on friday. went shopping with parents and bought a limited production watch and a pair of shoes. today was much better of course, bought clothes, berms, books and a shoe bag. went for seafood with khiam and ronald, which was really pretty cool.

i guess i finally understand what it means to not expect things from people, and just take things easy. it's not that it's bad to have expectations, it does allow you to break your own limits. but sometimes too high an expectation will only lead to disappointment.

take today for example. i'm one who isn't particular about celebrating birthdays. yet i'm hoping, or expecting rather, for a certain group of people to send a birthday message. should i hold no expectations at all, wouldn't I be a happier person, like I am now at this very instant?

i guess i've really learned and grown up. and i will move on with life
.
and i must constantly remind myself not to expect anything from anyone except myself, this may be key to happiness in my life.

cheers, everyone.

busy busy

2009-11-08T21:24:00.001+08:00

busy busy.

and so, what's your passion in life?

and what is happiness in life?

the list of question goes on.

close.

2009-11-01T18:39:00.002+08:00

as the national examinations looms nearer by the day, my role as a tutor comes to a close. it has been a fruitful year teaching others, and i must say i have learnt a lot from my tutees, or rather, friends. i suppose teaching as a profession is not only noble, but much much greater than that.

there are really alot of things that i do not know and understand. the complexity of the global financial system, the unpredictable human behaviour, and the list goes on. i spend time trying to understand and find answers to the never-ending questions that i have. yet sometimes i wonder if there is a point in trying to understand everything. isn't the process more important? isn't the world more complete with parts of it never to be understood by us humans?

i realise in different stages of my life, there have been great people who helped me tide through the difficult times. i appreciate their presence in my lives, albeit short-lived. yet, till today, i'm not sure if there's someone whom i can safely say 'they/he/she will be there for me when i truly need it'. maybe that's my fate. but why bother? if that is how my life should be, then so be it. if the person turns up, it's a bonus. if he/she doesn't, life still moves on.

and so, this is how i live my life.

retro, retro.

2009-10-25T15:33:00.002+08:00

other than my platoon's cohesion, which needs no elaboration, this weekend has been pretty great.

i was returning home from bukit panjang when i passed by a very traditional 'wayang' performance along teck whye. it was a split second decision, but somehow i decided to alight and watch the show. it was a really funny one, and i guess i can understand better why Shakespeare plays were so popular during his time. It's sad that such culture is dying in Singapore. I was the only teenager among the audience. Who of my age will be interested in such performances? Even wet markets are slowly being eliminated, what more 'wayang' shows?

i wonder how the next week will be like.

maybe it was a mistake to admit my wrong-doings and my problems to people other than myself. i wish i could forget this part of my past and move on. for i'm turning 19 soon.

maybe.

2009-10-21T22:18:00.002+08:00

maybe i really complain and whine too much.

maybe my problems and constant whining have scared friends away. very good ones indeed.

maybe these issues are not as easy to accept as they seem to be. come on, even i have problems coming to terms with them.

all is too late. there really is no point in crying over spilt milk.

i thank my platoon mates for allowing me to see a different perspective in life, and how to better deal with my current problems.

i will try my best to live life to its fullest, and not bother so much about problems i have no control over. after all, life is short, so why bother so much?

so much for ns.

2009-10-18T15:42:00.002+08:00

i realise that recently, my entries are all about my army life, and how i'm able to see things in different perspectives. it's getting boring on my part, but there's really nothing else i could really write about.

well, there are issues that are worth commenting, but...i just need more information that may not be easily available in camp. and it's definitely not safe for me to blog in camp, so....

whatever it is, life has to move on.

there's one thing i would like to clarify though, i'm working pretty hard in ns not because i'm a up soldier, it's just one of the many ways to keep my problems in check. so please, don't misunderstand.

BME

2009-10-12T12:10:00.002+08:00

last week was the major major major outfield exercise. when it was over, everyone was happy.

i didn't go outfield (but that does not mean i didn't do anything), so i didn't get my day off today. but i self-declared it nonetheless. it's not worth working so hard....

had a fruitful weekend i suppose. went to zouk on friday night, and other than the usual places i visit on saturday, i went shopping. bought a couple of accessories, which i think i will take photos and post online sometime later. i also bought a birthday present for someone, and was very happy with myself. until....

i wouldn't want to say what exactly happened. to place it simply, i don't see how meeting up for a meal and passing a birthday gift could be labelled as pointless and turn the person into someone who is after freebies.

i simply cannot understand.

that aside, many things are not rational, and of course cannot be understood so easily. i guess this is just one of the many issues in the world that is, by nature, irrational.

fortunately, i begin to see life from many perspectives, and that i can understand. i guess that is my biggest take away from my ns life.

it's another week in camp...till then.

horribe horrible week?

2009-10-02T15:03:00.002+08:00

this week was mainly preparations for battalion mission exercise (BME). things got pretty hectic midweek, but many things are still left undone.

i see the similarities and stark contrasts between army and school life, and of course the contradictions that lie deep within. we are forced to go to school (if you want to put it this way), and guys are made to serve NS. yet the career paths that teachers and regulars in NS choose are not forced upon them. So whenever regulars are faced with challenges that require the co-operation of their men, and co-operation is hard to attain, they have to bear in mind that this is part of their job, and cannot simply push the blame to others. they chose this career path, and thus it is only natural that they bear the responsibilities that come along with it.

as privates (or men) in NS, our job is to follow whatever instructions that are passed down. if the instructions are clear but not obeyed, then it is the fault of the men; if no effort is made to ensure the clarity of the instructions and the commander does not ensure that instructions are followed closely for the sake of the men, then it is the fault of the commander.

sometimes i wonder why i am doing so much for my unit. it is definitely not worth the time and effort with such commanders around. of course, let us not talk about the nobility of serving the nation. i suppose it's part of my personality that i always complete whatever task that is given. and now, i've to act, sometimes against my will, to protect my interests. the worst part is, there's still many things left undone.

enough of NS life.

the wedding of christopher lee and fann wong is, of course, one of the hottest topics of discussion in town. in particular, the bollywood-style gown worn by fann wong has drawn puzzled responses.

well, i think that dress is a beautiful one. the detail of the dress is elaborate and classic. more importantly, it breaks the fad that celebrities must wear dresses that are revealing of their figures. it proves to everyone that tradition, when added with traces of modernity, can be oozing with charm and beauty.

i wonder when my solitary life end though....

sian.

2009-09-26T19:44:00.004+08:00

other than my confinement week and field camp in tekong, this is the first time i stayed in camp on a saturday. i consider myself lucky that i'm rewarded a one-day off next friday, but still, staying in camp on a beautiful saturday sucks to the core.

it has been a long and tiring week. started off with preparing for an outfield exercise, followed by a 2 day outfield (when i am excused boots). Spent the fourth day on some shit paperwork, and the last rounding up everything after the exercise came to a close. tensions are high in camp as things are peaking up, with each commander having vastly different goals and aims. in other words, it's just politics in the play.

on my way home, i thought about the approach that i am going to take when dealing with in-camp affairs. it certainly is best not to care about those affairs so much and just make an effort to do my job well, but it is also necessary to play along with them at times for self-protection. i guess i'm pretty clear on what my direction is. and most importantly, i don't want to drag anyone with me.

i finally found someone whom i can talk with in camp, i hope things won't screw up this time...

and finally, i get to play with my itouch.

当我静下心来凝望，
在混乱中，
其实有熟悉的秩序。
在陌生中，
其实有熟悉的记忆。
在复杂中，
其实有单纯的美好。
而下一站的路，
就这样清楚浮现出来了。

busy busy

2009-09-21T19:13:00.002+08:00

this has been an ultra busy weekend. new tuition assignment, resting at home, clubbing and soccer (yeah baby man utd won), wedding...and finally received my itouch. haven't got time to play with it, so i will leave that to next week.

wells...i guess i do realise that towards many things, i feel utterly helpless. alot of matters tend to be loop-sided, and yet we can't do anything to it.

it's going to be another long week. =(

handwriting analysis

2009-09-13T20:08:00.000+08:00

did this handwriting analysis test...it's really quite accurate.

Yun Hao is moderately outgoing. His emotions are stirred by sympathy and heart rendering stories. In fact, he can be kind, friendly, affectionate and considerate of others. He has the ability to put himself into the other person's shoes.

Yun Hao will be somewhat moody, with highs and lows. Sometimes he will be happy, the next day he might be sad. He has the unique ability to get along equally well with what psychology calls introverts and extroverts. This is because he is in between. Psychology calls Yun Hao an ambivert. He understands the needs of both types. Although they get along, he will not tolerate anyone that is too "far out." He doesn't sway too far one way or the other.

When convincing him to buy a product or an idea, a heart rendering story could mean a great deal to him. He puts himself in the same situation as the person in the story, yet he will not buy anything that seems overly impractical or illogical. Yun Hao is an expressive person. He outwardly shows his emotions. He may even show traces of tears when hearing a sad story.

Yun Hao is a "middle-of-the-roader," politically as well as logically. He weighs both sides of an issue, sits on the fence, and then will decide when he finally has to. He basically doesn't relate to any far out ideas and usually won't go to the extreme on any issue.

People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Yun Hao doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.

Yun Hao will be candid and direct when expressing his opinion. He will tell them what he thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don't really want his opinion, don't ask for it!

In reference to Yun Hao's mental abilities, he has a very investigating and creating mind. He investigates projects rapidly because he is curious about many things. He gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but he soon must slow down and look at all the angles. He probably gets too many things going at once. When Yun Hao slows down, then he becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, he must slow down to do it. He then decides what projects he has time to finish. Thus he finishes at a slower pace than when he started the project.

He has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. His mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. He can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Yun Hao can then switch into his low gear. When he is in the slower mode, he can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. He is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.

Yun Hao's true self-image is unreasonably low. Someone once told Yun Hao that he wasn't a great and beautiful person, and he believed them. Yun Hao also has a fear that he might fail if he takes large risks. Therefore he resists setting his goals too high, risking failure. He doesn't have the internal confidence that frees him to take risks and chance failure. Yun Hao is capable of accomplishing much more than he is presently achieving. All this relates to his self-esteem. Yun Hao's self-concept is artificially low. Yun Hao will stay in a bad situation much too long... why? Because he is afraid that if he makes a change, it might get worse. It is hard for Yun Hao to plan too far into the future. He kind of takes things on a day to day basis. He may tell you his dreams but he is living in today, with a fear of making a change. No matter how loud he speaks, look at his actions. This is perhaps the biggest single barrier to happiness people not believing in and loving themselves. Yun Hao is an example of someone living with a low self-image, because their innate self-confidence was broken.

Yun Hao is sarcastic. This is a defense mechanism designed to protect his ego when he feels hurt. He pokes people harder than he gets poked. These sarcastic remarks can be very funny. They can also be harsh, bitter, and caustic at the same time.

Yun Hao has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. He lets new people into his circle of friends. He uses his imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.

www.handwritingwizard.com

another long week.

2009-09-13T18:25:00.000+08:00

it's yet another week in camp. things are picking up, and i think the camp is going to get real busy soon. people will start pushing work around, and the unluckiest will have the most arrows on him. i wish things were much simpler. it's possible, but people just don't see how simple things could be. that's office politics...

went out with bmt platoon mates yesterday. supposed to have lunch together, but one of them overslept and the other don't know went to turn up, so only 3 of us ate pizza hut. movie didn't work out as a result, so we had tau huay at selegie road. then it was orchard central and ion orchard. it was great having good accompaniment. such events are getting rarer for me nowadays.

i also bought myself the 3rd gen itouch. i'm not one who will spend so much money on electronics, but i decided to be nicer to myself. life has been hard...

next week is live range. i'm not sure if i'm shooting, even if i am, i won't be getting money for marksmanship. whatever...hopefully things will be better next week. with an early bookin to mount radios on vehicles.

cheers.

nostalgia.

2009-09-05T23:44:00.000+08:00

it's the first bookout after a month long of mc. alot of politics going on in camp, especially with the arrival of the new sergeant who happened to be my primary school mate. although life in camp is generally boring, alot of things i've learned in secondary school is re-enforced, and i learn more things about the world. while others see the better side of life, as in the case of the many success stories available, i see the not-so-good side of life...i guess i would deal with things differetly if i was the new sergeant. i hope things will improve for him soon. it really sucks to have a bad relationship with your superiors.

i had an early bookout yesterday because of the Army Open House. I shan't comment much on it...if you're interested you can go visit it tomorrow. haha.

now for today. i really had a great day. after more than a year, i met up with marcus. it was weird at the beginning, for he had acquired a slang after his first year in college. it was as if i didn't know him anymore. but things got better a while, and soon it was like the past. we chilled at lot 1 before heading to bugis. had pastamania at bugis junction and walked around the mall. it was cool to be able to chill with someone after so long. and i'm both envious and happy for him for being able to lead a new and carefree life there, away from whatever things that are going on back at home. he did say that when he's there, he completely forgets about things here. i guess it really isn't a bad thing after all...

he's not sure when he's going to come back to the region, which means that i may not meet him in a few years. it's kind of sad to think of this, but...it can't be helped. i don't want to be like a burden or something, so i've decided not to disturb him when he's there. but i will bug him to meet when he's in the region. HAHA. on a serious note though, it's cool to catch up with people once in a blue moon, and reminicise the old days.

after he went back to jb, i decided to watch the proposal. it's a hilarious film...and pretty meaningful too. i liked the ending, allowed the audience to decide for themselves how the actual ending would be like.

this meeting with him (and the movie also) made me reconsider alot of my priorities. although his overseas experience made me want to go also, i guess i'm different from him, and probably not cope with it that well. afterall, i'm an introvert. this is truly not an excuse, and all other reasons i had for not going overseas are still valid in some sense. i've also realised that regardless of what problems i'm having now, i need to move on with my life, and live in the present. he's living his new life in waterloo, with a new group of friends and comapny...no reason why i shouldn't.

and the movie...i'm not sure if i know exactly what having a family or being loved by a family is like...but i guess no matter what happens, no matter what differences you have with your family members, they are still your family.

it's time to move on with life (for the last time), and not spend so much time thinking about things that can't be helped. live in the present, and life's gonna be great.

i need someone special in my life now...that's what i'm short of. haha.

back to camp

2009-08-30T15:53:00.000+08:00

after 1 month, i'm finally heading back to camp tonight. the thought of it makes me feel like shit, but i guess it's not a matter of choice. probably it isn't that bad after all.

alot of things happened this month. got to know some things which i wish i never knew. i'm glad that i settled all of the outstanding matters, and hopefully this will be a fresh new start for me.

that's all guys, will be back next week.

i see.

2009-08-26T23:50:00.000+08:00

i actually have some ideas on the ndr and mm lee's speech on treating races differently. just that i've been too lazy to pen down my thoughts...well, this is a time when i can really procrastinate, so i shall just let it be. at least i have ideas, proves that my brain is still working.

_____________________________________________________________________

now i understand why i screw up so often. it's ok, now that i learnt my mistake, i will try my best not to make it again. and i also learnt that what is done cannot be undone, no point crying over spilt milk. i guess this will lead me to a clearer picture of what to do in the future.

it's going to be another night of thinking.

2009-08-23T23:21:00.000+08:00

阴

不是每个人都会有交到有福同享，有难同当的朋友的福分。其实，偶尔和好朋友吃吃饭，聚一聚，享受一下生活的乐趣，也不见得不好。虽然说出外靠朋友，但有些事还是要靠自己，朋友真的帮不了多少。
我对我现在的生活，也应该满足了。不错，是有不足的地方，但人生嘛，知足长乐！

case closed.

2009-08-23T00:07:00.001+08:00

it's time to move on with life, a more serious post the next time.

2009-08-22T00:46:00.002+08:00

it's rather quick, but i'm already regretting. i am beginning to blame myself for the mistakes i made, but then...sigh.

life makes a fool out of people. those who are most important turns out to be those who cannot accept me and my problems.

i'm willing to try again. but will i be given another chance?

it's over.

2009-08-20T21:48:00.000+08:00

it's over.

changes.

2009-08-20T17:05:00.000+08:00

i was browsing through njc's website yesterday and realised that there's a major change in the staff. out of the 5 H2 econs tutors last year, only 2 remain...and there are plenty of new additions.

what really striked me was the number of new positions in the management committee. i wonder what virginia cheng is up to. rewarding those with significant contributions to the school, or turning to school into a corporate entity? to be frank, some of the positions are ridiculous. make a browse and you will know.

which makes me think of my secondary school. with a home visit by my PS yesterday, i wonder when will be an appropriate time to go next week. i don't want to be caught not at home when my BSO comes next week...or so she will.

SAF owes me $50 worth of goodies btw. so much for care for soldiers.

those who i hope to come didn't, and those i hope not to come, came.

recovery? dream on.

2009-08-19T21:30:00.001+08:00

looks like my ankle ain't going to recover. three weeks down, i'm beginning to feel the pain that i did in the past. of course the pain isn't that bad as before. like what the doctor says, the surgery can only relieve pain to about 70%. ah wells, just my luck.

i spend more energy not thinking about it than i do when i think of it. zzz.

better?

2009-08-18T23:19:00.001+08:00

ok, i should be feeling better now. i think i am.

watched 'tuesday report' on channel 8. rekindled my ambition of being a teacher. how long more do i have to wait?

patience my dear, patience.

screw it

2009-08-18T00:29:00.002+08:00

i've been thinking so much, i don't know what i am thinking anymore. i wish i could just get out of this island, migrate to another place and not come back. there's only that few people left worth staying for. and it's time i did something for myself.

i can't bring myself to be optimistic anymore. ever since last christmas all i felt was shit, shit and more shit. people say they have limits, and i've reached mine. so much for family, friends, understanding, studies, results, excellence, meritocracy, reciprocation, selfishness, expectations. i will none of it.

leave me alone. don't comment.

UP

2009-08-17T20:00:00.001+08:00

watched UP today with my parents. a great movie, and i liked the music alot. makes me wanna go back to it soon...

i particularly like the first part of the movie. within the few minutes, alot of things about life are reflected...yes, time may be crawling now, but before you notice it, you will realise that time has flown pass without you accomplishing anything. so carpe diem, sieze the day.

i will be a good boy and stay home the next few days. =p

i know i will regret this decision, so why am i still doing this? or is it time to let go?

MM Lee – population control revisited, 30 years later

2009-08-16T19:31:00.001+08:00

I came across this article on The Online Citizen. It's a interesting article. Highlighted a logical flaw made by MM Lee during his recent speech on population control. While I see the need of the influx of foreign workers, I don't think a low birthrate is a good reason for it.

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Andrew Loh

On 8 March 2008, the Straits Times carried a report headlined, “Oil prices ‘unlikely to rise further’.” The person making that prediction was none other than Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew.

At that time, oil prices were trading at US$105. The ST report said, “As crude oil prices hit US$105 (S$145) per barrel, MM Lee believes it is not likely to creep further up to US$110.”

MM Lee said, “’I don’t think it can go up US$110, US$120, US$150 and the world economy goes on. Inflation will go through the roof. Economies of the West will go down, hyper-inflation in many developing countries. So it will go into reverse.”

Hardly two months later, prices rose above US$110 in May. Another two months later, in July, prices shot to US$145.

[MM Lee has also admitted to being wrong in banning Formula One races and for disallowing casinos in the past. The GIC, of which he is chairman, was also wrong in "going in too early" when it invested in UBS and Citigroup, MM Lee said in March this year. See here. In July 2007, MM Lee said Singapore was in a "golden period" - right before the financial crisis hit.]

The point here is that we must not be lulled into thinking that MM Lee is always right. He is not. Even his GIC outfit has lost more than $50 billion in bad investments this past year alone.

Thus when the 14 August 2009 edition of the Straits Times gave front page prominence to MM Lee’s remarks on foreign workers and immigrants, we should take pause and ask ourselves: Is MM Lee right?

His past results in population control is, to say the least, dubious.

Stop-At-Two

In the 70s, then-Prime Minister Lee Kuan Yew introduced the “Stop-At-Two” policy to curb our population growth. The buzzwords then were “Family Planning” and “Two Is Enough”. For those who are unfamiliar with the policy, this was what it entailed, according to this website:

“Birth rates fell from 1957 to 1970, but then began to rise as women of the postwar baby boom reached child-bearing years. The government responded with policies intended to further reduce the birth rate.

Abortion and voluntary sterilization were legalized in 1970. Between 1969 and 1972, a set of policies known as “population disincentives” were instituted to raise the costs of bearing third, fourth, and subsequent children.

Civil servants received no paid maternity leave for third and subsequent children; maternity hospitals charged progressively higher fees for each additional birth; and income tax deductions for all but the first two children were eliminated.

Large families received no extra consideration in public housing assignments, and top priority in the competition for enrollment in the most desirable primary schools was given to only children whose parents had been sterilized before the age of forty.

Voluntary sterilization was rewarded by seven days of paid sick leave and by priority in the allocation of such public goods as housing and education.

The policies were accompanied by publicity campaigns urging parents to “Stop at Two” and arguing that large families threatened parents’ present livelihood and future security. The penalties weighed more heavily on the poor, and were justified by the authorities as a means of encouraging the poor to concentrate their limited resources on adequately nurturing a few children who would be equipped to rise from poverty and become productive citizens.”

The policy was so clinically effective in its application and implementation that by the 80s, Singapore’s falling birth rate was in the danger zone. None of the Members of Parliament at that time sounded any alarms about the danger and all apparently supported the birth control policy. The local state-controlled media went along for the ride, much as it is today.

Yet, instead of a total reversal of the policy when it became clear that it was having adverse consequences, MM Lee introduced another ill-fated idea – the infamous “Graduate Mothers Policy”.

“The government acted to give preferential school admission to children whose mothers were university graduates, while offering grants of S$10,000 to less educated women who agreed to be sterilized after the birth of their second child. The government also established a Social Development Unit to act as matchmaker for unmarried university graduates. The policies, especially those affecting placement of children in the highly competitive Singapore schools, proved controversial and generally unpopular.”

In 1985, the highly unpopular policy was abolished as it was not achieving its aims of having graduate mothers produce more babies. It was only in 1987 that the Stop-At-Two policy was abandoned entirely. By then, Singapore’s birth rate had run into serious problems – we were not replacing ourselves at an appropriate rate.

Population control revisited

30 years later, the same man who was responsible for the “Stop At Two” policy in the 70s, is now telling us that the government “accept only immigrants who increase the average level of competence of Singaporeans” – and doing so to the tune of 1.68 million foreigners presently on our tiny island, in a population of 3.2 million Singaporeans.

This is in response to Singapore’s birth rate problem – it continues to fall, despite government incentives to induce Singaporeans to have children.

Besides MM Lee’s dubious record in population control, the same danger of our Parliamentarians silently tagging along and thus giving support to such policies, as similarly happened in the 70s and 80s, may see history repeat itself – 30 years hence, with future generations living the consequences of this present policy.

Calls from some quarters for the government to re-look its policy on foreigners have been met with dismissive remarks by government ministers. “Just zeroing in on foreign workers alone is not the total solution,” Manpower Minister Gan Kim Yong said in August. He also termed such calls “simplistic”.

What concerns Singaporeans are not just jobs or economic prosperity but also the social consequences of having so many foreigners in our midst. This has led to some Singaporeans wondering if the government knows what is happening on the ground, where physical and personal space is now harder to come by, even in the heartlands. This may potentially result in social friction among the various groups, something which the Prime Minister spoke about in his National Day message recently.

The government’s preoccupation seems to be the economy and how foreigners can contribute to this. It has said little about the social consequences, although it has set up the National Integration Council “to drive social integration efforts across the private, people and public sectors”. The success of the council’s effort is left to be seen.

In the meantime, the government has been urging Singaporeans to “embrace and accept” these foreigners, as MM Lee said on 14 August. He also urged Singaporeans to “treat new citizens as equals”. (AsiaOne)

According to the New Population Secretariat website, the number of PRs in 2008 was 79,167, upped from 63,627 the previous year.

The number of new citizens hit a record high of 20,513 in 2008, upped from 17,334 in 2007.

We seem to be in a hurry to bring in foreigners at an alarming rate.

But perhaps all is not lost. The lone voice in Parliament calling for a re-look of the policy has come from the ruling party’s own Member of Parliament, Mrs Josephine Teo. But even so, she is only concerned about the falling productivity level of Singaporean workers. Her argument is that a more targeted approach to the employment of foreigners will help up the productivity level of Singaporeans.

But given how the government seems to feel that the policy is the right one, and ministers have defended it to the hilt, it does not appear that any changes will be forthcoming.

The man and his ideas are not always right

Lee Kuan Yew’s attempt at population control in the 70s and 80s has resulted in a population unable and unwilling to replace itself.

Will our current policy at population control by the same government result in a worse fate for Singaporeans in the future?

Blogger Lucky Tan says it best here:

The real reason for the large percentage of imported labor, more than almost anywhere else in the world, is to keep wages down so that rent, utilities, transport and other costs can go up. It would have been alright if we did it like Dubai where the indigenous population sits on top of the economic food chain while foreigners do all the work. The problem is a large number of Singaporeans are at the bottom of the food chain….crushed.

Anyone who’s had a track record in population control as Lee Kuan Yew has would be seen as a failure. Yet, we are providing front page coverage to MM Lee’s latest thinking on the topic.

MM Lee may have been instrumental in building Singapore.

But neither he nor his government is always right – as history has proved.
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Food for thought.